Law and Disorder
by MrDrP
Summary: Being chained, sealed in a box, dropped in a bottomless pit of water covered with glacial ice only to have to tangle with a shark and squid? No big for Kim. Dementor accusing her of stealing the transportulator? So the Drama! AU, post Hidden Talent.
1. Chapter 1

"What?" exclaims the confused reader. "Don't you have enough ongoing stories as it is?" The honest answer is yes, but the first four chapters of this one have been on my computer since May. I realized that if I didn't begin posting, I'd never finish writing this tale, which I very much want to do.

Thanks to campy for proofreading.

Leave a review, get a response.

KP, RS et al © Disney

* * *

This story begins where the episode "Hidden Talent" ended. Some might say it's an AU. But Ron might ask, "How do we know it's an AU? Maybe what we think is an AU is the Real U and the Real U is the AU and …"

To which Kim would respond, "I so can't believe I'm saying this, but Ron you're thinking too much!"

* * *

I.

As Bonnie seethed beside her, Kim joined in the applause for Ron. Though the teen hero had earlier been miffed with her best friend for signing her up for the Middleton High School talent show, she was now proud of him for winning the contest and secretly pleased that she'd hit the high note, something she'd never have done, let alone attempted, had Ron not entered her into the competition.

While Kim enjoyed seeing Ron bask in the adulation of the crowd, she was worried about his bandages: she still wasn't positive that she'd heard Rufus correctly – had the naked mole rat really said Ron had split a tower of cinder blocks with his head? As the auburn haired teen was wondering whether she should take her best friend to Bueno Nacho for a celebratory Grande Sized Naco or ask her mother to examine him, an unmistakably shrill Teutonic voice interrupted her ruminations.

"There iss the HERO THIEF!" Dementor raged.

Kim turned to see the pint-sized, helmeted villain pointing at her. Seeing Dementor at Middleton High set her weirdar off – especially as the menace from Mittel Europa was in the company of Officer Hobble.

"Are you sure about this?" the policeman asked in his familiar Irish brogue.

"Am I sure? Do my eyes look like they are not sure? Yes," he screamed. "IT ISS HER!"

"Excuse me, Mister Bad Accent Guy" Bonnie finally sniped. "Would you mind shouting somewhere else?"

"Yes, I WOULD MIND!" the villain replied.

"Hmmph," the snarky teen said as she crossed her arms in pique.

"Officer Hobble, what's going on?" Kim asked.

The law enforcement professional sighed. "Miss Possible, this man appeared at the police station and said you stole something of his …"

"Tell him, HERO THIEF!" Dementor screamed. "Tell him how you not only stole my TRANSPORTULATOR BUT THE UNIVERSAL ADAPTER RIGHT FROM WITHIN MY LAIR!"

"I so didn't steal it!" Kim said with a roll of her eyes. "You know I thought I was recovering it for its rightful owners."

"Can you not see the LIES coming from her MOUTH?" the Teutonic bad guy said as he gesticulated wildly.

"Right," Kim said with a roll of her eyes. "Like I stole your teleportation …"

"IT ISS A TRANSPORTULATOR!" Dementor screamed.

"… Fine, transportulator," Kim said, exasperated, "for Drakken. I'd do that why?"

Hobble knit his brow. "Miss Possible, are you saying you did take this transportulator?"

"Yes, but …" she said, suddenly wary.

"Ach! The HERO THIEF admits she iss OF THE STICKY FINGERS!" Dementor declared in triumph.

"I'm sorry to do this, Miss Possible," Hobble said with a sad shake of the head, "But I'm going to have to place you under arrest."

"What?" the teen hero exclaimed. "On what grounds?"

"Theft of a matter teleportation device, possible transport of molecules over state lines, and consorting with known supervillains," he said before adding reluctantly, "Your wrists, please."

The teen hero and the police officer stared at one another. Finally, Kim sighed, dropped her head in shame and frustration and did as requested. "This so can't be happening," she said in a daze as Hobble slapped a pair of handcuffs on her.

"Come along, Miss Possible, I need to book you," the policeman said gently as he guided the teen hero by her elbow to the nearest exit.

"Gütten nacht, bon soir, good night, Fraulein HERO THIEF!" Dementor said with glee as a stunned Kim Possible was led away while Bonnie Rockwaller, who had decided that watching her long-time rival be arrested was way better than winning some silly trophy, stood by and grinned as she snapped some pictures on with her mobile phone.

II.

Ron saw Kim's parents and wandered in their direction. "Hola, Drs P!"

"Hello, Ronald," Kim's father said warmly as he extended his hand. "And congratulations."

"We're very proud of you," Kim's mother added.

"Thanks," Ron said as he blushed and beamed with pride.

"Karate chopping those cinder blocks with your head was so much cooler," Jim chimed in.

"… Than Kim's dopey song," Tim added.

"Boys, there will be no disparaging your sister's musical performances," James Possible said sternly, earning disappointed frowns from his boys.

"So, KP made it back in time from the mission to perform?" Ron asked. "Coolio. Too bad I was unconscious." The contest winner looked around. "Uh, anyone seen Kim?"

"Well, no, actually," Mrs. Possible said. "I thought she was with you. She never came back after her number."

"Hmmm," Ron said as he pursed his lip. "I wonder where she is?"

III.

Kim sat slumped in the back of the cruiser, trying to get her mind around the fact that she was being given a ride by the police not because she was going on a mission, but because she was an alleged criminal. "This is so the drama," she said softly as she looked out the window at the passing lights.

It wasn't long before the squad car pulled into the lot at the Police Station. Hobble parked the car, got out, opened the passenger door, and escorted Kim into the building.

Kim cringed as the officers stared at her goggle-eyed; after all, none of them ever expected to see Middleton's very own teen hero cuffed. She looked stoically into the camera when her mug shot was taken and grimaced when Hobble had her remove her gloves so she could be fingerprinted. She flushed with embarrassment when he asked for her Kimmunicator, grappling gun hair dryer, utility belt and shoelaces.

"Do I get to make a call?" she asked.

"Yes," the officer said.

"May I use the Kimmunicator?" Kim asked. "I'd like to call Wade, but I don't actually know his number."

"Sure, Miss Possible," Hobble said, clearly not enjoying his job that evening.

Kim activated the device.

"What up, Kim?" the young tech guru asked. "Did you win the contest?"

The teen hero closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Ron won and I'm in jail."

Wade spit out his drink.

"Did you say …"

"Yes, I'm in jail."

"Ron actually won?" Wade marveled.

"Yes," Kim said, now a bit peeved.

"Do you want me to contact him?" Wade asked after he'd collected himself.

"Please and thank you," she replied.

III.

Ron's phone rang. "Hey, maybe it's Kim calling!" he said as he pulled his phone out of his cargo pants pocket. "This is Ron Stoppable, owner of the mad first prize props from this year's Talent Show!"

"Ron!"

"Wade?"

"Ron, Kim's … in trouble!"

"What? What kind of trouble?"

"She's, well, she's under arrest."

"Great googly moogly!"

"What is it Ron?" Mrs. Possible asked.

"KP's in the slammer!" he exclaimed, drawing the attention of the crowd. "Uh, I said she's slammin'!" he lied. "That's right, heh heh, Kim is one slammin' best friend!"

"Hoo boy!" Rufus said as he slapped his forehead.

People looked at Ron warily, wondering just how hard he had hit his head, then wandered off.

James Possible scowled. "Did you just say my Kimmie-cub is in jail, Ronald?"

Ron tugged at his shirt collar. "I didn't do it, Mr. P! Honest!"

"Dear, calm down," Mrs. Possible said to her husband. "Ron, does Wade know anything else?"

"Good question, Mrs. P," Ron answered, after he took some calming breaths. "Wade, what's the sitch?" the tow-headed sidekick asked without a trace of irony. "Uh huh, uh huh, no way, you have got to be kidding, uh huh, uh huh, whoa!" Ron said as Wade explained matters to him. "Okay, I'll fill in the Doctors P. Talk to you later."

"Well?" James asked.

"Kim's been arrested for stealing a Transportulator," Ron answered, "and is being held at the police station."

"Why that's outrageous!" James declared. "My Kimmie-cub would never do anything like that!"

"Uh, yeah, well about that," Ron said as he rubbed his neck.

"Ronald …" the rocket scientist growled.

"Look, we didn't think we were stealing it, we thought we were getting it back for its owners!" Ron responded, unable not to notice how lame that sounded. "Man, KP is in trouble …" he said to himself.

"Dear, why don't you take the boys home and Ron and I will go see Kim," Mrs. Possible suggested.

"Aw, come on," Jim said.

"… We want to see Kim doing time!" Tim added.

"Boys …" James warned.

IV.

Kim sat on her bunk, her head in her hands. She felt humiliated. Not even the villains left her without a belt or shoelaces.

"KP!" a concerned voice cried out.

She looked up to see her best friend and her mother, escorted by Officer Hobble.

"You can have ten minutes, then you'll have to go," the policeman said apologetically, before he turned and left the threesome alone.

"Ron, Mom!" she said as she stood up, clutched her cargoes, and approached the bars.

"Are you okay, honey?" Mrs. Possible asked.

"Just spankin'" Kim said sarcastically as she adjusted her pants, finally understanding what Ron went through on a regular basis.

"Uh, Kim, you want my belt?" Ron offered as he saw his best friend fidget with her cargoes.

Kim glared at him.

"Well, I thought you might have more luck with it; it's not like it keeps my pants from falling down," he said sheepishly.

Kim shook her head, then sighed. "Thanks, Ron. But I think Officer Hobble would just take it away."

"Is there anything we can get for you?" Mrs. Possible asked.

"Just a ferociously good lawyer," Kim replied. "This whole sitch is so whacked. I mean, Dementor should be in jail, not me!"

"True," Ron observed. "But stranger things have happened."

"Like?" Kim shot back.

Ron rubbed his chin. "Hmmm. Let me get back to you on that one."

"Great," Kim grumbled. "I'm doomed."

"Hey, don't worry, KP: I've still got your back," Ron declared.

Kim looked at her best friend and sidekick, and finally smiled. "Thanks. Though I hope you'll understand if I still want that lawyer."

"We'll get on that first thing in the morning, honey," Kim's mother said.

"And you'll be out of her in no time," Ron said with confidence. "We are so gonna beat this thing!"

"You really think so?" Kim asked, trying not to sound hopeless, even though she was finding this sitch so much worse than being chained, put in a box that was soldered shut, and tossed into a supposedly bottomless water-filled pit that was home to a shark and squid and covered with six inches of Galatian ice.

"Oh yeah," Ron answered with a huge grin, though, truth be told, he didn't have a clue as to how that was going to happen …

_TBC …_


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to Josh84, Boris Yeltsin, CajunBear73, RonHeartbreaker, Cody MacArthur Fett, rollred2000, Mr. Wizard, Jason Barnett, acosta perez jose ramiro, whitem, johnrie18, Samurai Crunchbird, Slyrr, Acaykath, Quathis, daywalkr82, Ace Ian Combat, captainkodak1, Molloy, mr.the.ninja, Dany-171984, Gray Cardinal, and Joe Stoppinghem for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

As always, leave a review, get a response.

Thanks to campy for proofreading.

KP et. al. © Disney

* * *

I.

Ron Stoppable may have been a lock to not score a place on the Middleton High honor roll, but even he knew something was seriously wrong when he saw the TV trucks parked in front of the school.

The tow-headed teen pushed his way through the crowd to find the Middleton News Network's basso-voiced anchor, Tricia Labowski, preparing to interview Bonnie Rockwaller.

"Uh oh," Rufus, who was perched on his human's shoulder, squeaked.

"Little Buddy, we've got a problem," Ron agreed. "This will require some fast thinking."

Ron looked to his right and left, then ran up and pushed Bonnie out of the way.

"Hey!" the snarky brunette protested.

"Did you know about the snout they found in the cafeteria mystery meat?" Ron anxiously asked the broadcaster.

"Not another one," the newswoman said. "That would be the seventh time in the last ten years. You know, that's been a problem since I was a student here."

"I so didn't need to know that," Ron said, turning green as he learned the rumor he'd just fabricated was in fact reality.

"Will you excuse, us, Loser?" Bonnie said as she shoved Ron aside. "I'm going to tell Tricia the truth about K."

Ron leaned in and squinted at his best friend's rival.

"What are you staring at, Stoppable?" the snarky teen demanded.

"Is that a zit on your forehead?" he asked.

"What?" Bonnie shrieked.

"That is one large blemish, Bon Bon," he added with a rueful shake of the head. "It's gonna look huge on TV."

"Uh huh!" Rufus agreed. "Huge!"

"Aiieeee!" Bonnie screamed. "I so cannot be seen on television like this! Where's the make-up truck?" she demanded to know as she frantically grabbed one of the crew and dragged him off to the news truck.

Tricia shook her head. "I don't know what that was about, but thanks for nothing. She was going to be my lead for the morning program."

"Hey, I do what I can," Ron said as he put an arm around Tricia. "Besides, there's always the mystery meat story. You can never go wrong with a classic."

II.

"Yes, I was wondering if I might speak with Mr. Mason," James said. "What? He's left for a conference? I see." James Possible ended the call and looked to his wife.

"Mr. Matlock's on vacation in Hawaii?" Mrs. Possible said with a sigh. "Well, thank you."

The brain surgeon laid down her phone and crossed another name off her list. "James, this isn't looking good," she said. "All of the top defense lawyers have already been retained or are away."

"Well, let's hope generic lawyers are as good as generic rocket parts," the Possible family patriarch said as he began dialing another number.

III.

Bonnie Rockwaller was furious. She couldn't believe that Ron Stoppable had played her like that, costing her a chance to be on television. The angry brunette stalked the halls, her sulfurous expression warning one and all not to cross her.

As she turned the corner to E Hall, she saw Josh Mankey. Suddenly, she had an idea. It wasn't as efficient a way as broadcast news to get the word out about Kim's run-in with the law, but it would still do the job. The high school grapevine, after all, was a powerfully effective means of communication.

IV.

Kim lay on her bunk, staring at the ceiling. She'd already done pushups, sit-ups, and tai chi. Of course, what she really wanted to do was figure out a way to bust out of her cell, which is what she'd normally do when incarcerated. But that was only appropriate when a villain was holding her captive; escaping from police custody would make her sitch so much worse.

She began passing the time daydreaming about Josh and the big dance that was coming up in a few weeks. She wondered what her crush was up to and whether he was thinking of her.

V.

"Hi, Josh," Bonnie said in her friendliest voice.

"Oh, hey, Bonnie," the young artist replied. "So how's it goin'?"

"Oh, things are great," she said cheerfully before she nonchalantly added, "So, have you heard about Kim?"

"Yeah!" he said enthusiastically. "She took second place in the talent show last night! I thought she'd win, but, I have to give Ron credit, that thing he did with the cinder blocks was really cool."

Bonnie gritted her teeth, then smiled sweetly. "I meant what happened after the show."

"After the show?" Josh replied, "No. I had to go meet the guys in my garage band to practice a set."

"Kim was arrested," the cheerleader said casually.

"No way," the now wide-eyed teen responded.

"Way," Bonnie said with satisfaction. "I was there when they cuffed her."

"Whoa," a stunned Josh said. "That must have been a mistake."

"I so don't think so," Bonnie countered. "I heard Miss Perfect 'fess up."

"Kim confessed?" a startled Josh said.

"I always knew there was something off about her," Bonnie said as she looked at her fingernails. "All that time she spent fighting" – this was said with air quotes – "villains. She was probably taking lessons from them."

"And to think I was going to ask her out again …" the stunned boy said.

"Hope you planned on keeping a close eye your wallet," Bonnie joked.

"Yeah," Josh agreed nervously, still shocked by what he'd been told. He'd always thought Kim was cool, not a crook.

Bonnie smiled, seeing the expression on her classmate's face. The brunette was satisfied that she'd effectively sabotaged Kim's chances with Josh.

VI.

Ron was having trouble focusing on Barkin's lecture on the justifiably obscure nineteenth-century novel, _Bess of the Tubervilles_. The book, like most every other one they'd been reading in class, was pompous, boring, and, worst of all, picture-free. That it was about the daughter of a bankrupt potato farmer who liked monkeys didn't help engage Ron's interest. And then there was the little matter that he couldn't stop thinking about his best friend's predicament. Ron's head was most definitely not in the English Lit game.

"Stoppable!" Barkin roared.

"Uh, yeah, Mr. B?" Ron said nervously, trying to remember where he was.

"Since you're obviously paying such close attention to the discussion, perhaps you can share your opinions on the character of Lord Phister and his love of monkeys!"

Ron shuddered. Monkeys had that effect on him. "Sick and wrong!"

"You seem pretty sure of yourself," the ex-military man said as he loomed over Ron. "That's a good quality in a literary critic …"

Ron relaxed, enjoying the unexpected praise.

"… But confidence doesn't walk the dog and it doesn't bring home the bacon!" Barkin bellowed. "I need rationale, explanations, insights into the story. Now!"

"I don't see what dogs or bacon have to do with this, Mr. B," a genuinely confused Ron said.

Barkin slapped his forehead in frustration. "Those were figures of –"

The teacher was cut off by a knock on the door and the entrance of a brown-uniformed parcel deliveryman. "Excuse me, but I have a package for Ron Stoppable."

"Yo!" Ron said as he raised his hand.

"Please sign," the deliveryman said as he handed a clipboard and the package to the teen while Barkin scowled.

"Are you done yet?" the enraged teacher asked.

"Yep," the deliveryman said. "I'll be on my way."

"Not so fast, Parcel Man," Barkin said as he shoved his face into that of his visitor. "Not until you explain the symbolism of potatoes in this story!"

"Uh, Mr. B, he's not in –" Ron said before the package beeped and interrupted him. "Uh, 'scuse me," the teen said as he unwrapped the parcel. "Badical!" he exclaimed when he saw it was a Kimmunicator. "What up, Wade?"

"Stoppable! Would you mind?" Barkin bellowed.

"Not at all," the teen said as he got up to leave the classroom, much to his teacher's amazement.

"Well, I think I'll be going, too," the deliveryman said.

"Not until you answer my question," the teacher replied as he laid a beefy hand on the visitor's shoulder. "Potatoes: allegory or metaphor?"

VII.

"Hello, Miss Possible," the policeman said in his genial Irish brogue.

"Hi, Officer Hobble" Kim replied, trying to sound upbeat as she swung her legs off of her bunk. "What's the sitch?"

"Your arraignment's been set for 3:00 this afternoon," the officer explained. "Sorry it couldn't be earlier. By the way, I've called your parents."

"No big and thanks for calling Mom and Dad," Kim replied, wondering why she hadn't heard from them or Ron yet.

VIII.

James Possible's hair was a mess, his tie askew. He and his wife had exhausted just about every option in the telephone book and were now down to their last possibility. That they needed to find an attorney by mid-afternoon had only raised the pressure. He shook his head as he dialed the number.

His call was answered on the third ring. "Hello, Fleesum, Dunham and Robb," a chipper voice said. "How may I help you?"

"I need a defense lawyer by 3:00 this afternoon," Mr. Dr. P said, expecting to be told that all of their legal staff were unavailable.

"I'll need to put you on hold for a moment," the woman said.

James made a disapproving face when the receptionist's voice was replaced by 'I Shot the Sheriff.'

After a brief pause the woman was back on the line. "You're in luck," she said.

IX.

The bell rang and Ron raced out of the school. He was moving so fast that Steve Barkin didn't even have time to assign him extra homework or sentence him to detention.

Ron hopped onto his scooter, gunned the engine, and headed to the Middleton Court House where Wade informed him Kim would be arraigned that afternoon. The goofy sidekick guided his bike through the streets, dodging and weaving through traffic with surprising finesse. In relatively short order, he arrived at his destination. He doffed his helmet (as did Rufus) and ran into the building, where he saw Kim's parents and a man he didn't recognize.

"Hey, Doctors P!" Ron called out.

"Ron," Mrs. Possible said warmly, delighted by the young man's show of loyalty to her daughter. "Kim will be so happy you're here."

"Hey, Ron Stoppable takes his sidekick duties seriously," he said.

"Ronald, I'd like you to meet Kim's lawyer," James said. "Ron Stoppable, Hank Perkins."

* * *

_To Be Continued …_


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to BrianLeeB, whitem, Acaykath, Boris Yeltsin, spectre666, Cody MacArthur Fett, KP's Lawyer, Mr. Wizard, daywalkr82, Jurnee Jakes, Josh84, Danny-171984, acosta perez jose ramiro, Whisper from the Shadows, Ace Ian Combat, campy, Aero Tendo, Joe Stoppinghem, Seamus Dubh, Samurai Crunchbird, Quathis, Isamu, CajunBear73, RonHeartbreaker, Molloy, rollred2000, mr.the.ninja, and Drakonis Aurous for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Thanks to campy for his proofreading.

Leave a review, get a response.

KP, RS et. al. © Disney

* * *

I.

Kim sat in a conference room with her parents, Ron, and Hank. She'd just finished telling her attorney about the events leading up to her arrest.

Hank wrote some notes on his crisp yellow legal pad, then set his pencil down; the latter was placed perfectly parallel to the former.

Ron peered at Hank. "Are you sure you're old enough to be a lawyer?"

"Ron!" Kim said in exasperation.

"What?" the tow-headed sidekick protested. "This guy has even less facial hair than me!"

Hank offered a genial smile. "It's all right, Miss Possible. Lots of people have commented on my youthful countenance."

"Countenance," Ron said. "That's a school word, right?"

Kim rolled her eyes. "Can we get on with this, please and thank you?"

"So, to recap, you took the device," the young lawyer said.

"Yes, but it wasn't like I was stealing it," Kim offered. "How was I supposed to know I was being set up by Drakken and Shego?"

"Remember, ignorance is no defense," Hank said.

"But it is bliss," Ron observed, drawing scowls from everyone in the room. "Okay, I'll just be quiet," he added as he shrank into his seat.

Hank placed the palms of his hands on the table and surveyed the room. "Well, it seems if we're going to have any chance with your defense, we're going to have to get these supervillains to confess."

"Come again?" Kim asked skeptically.

"Dude, you can't be serious," Ron said.

"I'm very serious," Hank said. "If we can't get this Doctor Drek—"

"Drakken," Kim and Ron said simultaneously, after which Kim immediately called jinx, earning herself a soda.

"My bad," Hank said. "Anyway, we need to get this Drakken fellow and Sheila –"

"Shego …" Kim and Ron said in unison; once again Kim beat Ron to the jinx punch. She smiled smugly at her best friend.

"Sorry," Hank apologized. "As I was saying, we need to get these evildoers to admit to their villainy if we're to have a case. Otherwise, things aren't looking good."

"How not good?" James asked.

"Three to five with good behavior not good," Hank said. "Though on the bright side, your daughter will probably be able to get a great book-and-movie deal when she comes out!"

The teen hero considered the odds of her arch-foe and his evil compadre-in-crime admitting to what they had done when they could let her take the fall and go to prison. "This is so not good," she said as she dropped her head into her hands.

II.

"This is Tricia Labowski, reporting from the Middleton Courthouse where fallen teen hero Kim Possible is being arraigned for the theft of a teleportation device …"

"It iss a TRANSPORTULATOR!" the ever-voluble Dementor screamed.

"… With me is Professor Dementor, the inventor of the device in question. Professor," she said as she turned to the diminutive Deutschlander, "Is it true that you are a supervillain?"

"Ach!" he said with frustration. "I knew zat vould come up. Vhat does my job have to do vith the HERO THIEF STEALING MY INVENTION? Nothing, zat iss vhat."

"Excuse me?" Tricia said

"Vhat?" Dementor said.

"That," Tricia replied.

"That?" Dementor responded.

"No, vhat," Tricia said.

"It iss confusing this, no?" Dementor asked.

"Yes," Tricia agreed. "So, you're saying that your profession is not germane to this case?"

"It iss not," Dementor declared. "I invented ze transportulator, Fraulein Possible stole it, and I DEMAND SHE BE SENT TO ZE POKEY!"

"You do see the irony of this, don't you?" Tricia asked. "A villain seeking redress in court?"

"Vhat can I say?" Dementor replied with a shrug. "This iss a great country, no?"

III.

Ron turned as white as the proverbial ghost as the prosecutor entered the courtroom. "Oh man …" he groaned.

"What is it, Ronald?" James Possible asked.

"That's my cousin Reuben," Ron said. "My life is over."

"Ron," Mrs. Possible said as she placed a reassuring hand on the young man's forearm. "Calm down."

"Calm down? You want me to calm down?" he sputtered. "Reubo's idea of a good time is looking at himself in a mirror and calling himself 'Mr. D.A.' If he can put Kim away, he'll be Chauncey. And she'll blame me and you'll all hate me and I'll lose my best friend!"

"Ron, we won't hate you and Kim won't stop being your best friend," Mrs. Possible said warmly.

"How good is he, Ronald?" James asked a bit less warmly.

"You remember how well I did at Bueno Nacho?"

"Yes," Mrs. Possible answered, remembering how Ron had invented the Naco, then been promoted to management at the Tex-Mex eatery, all within days of starting a job he'd only taken because of her daughter.

"Well, replace my name with his and nacos with the law and you've got Reuben."

Much to her chagrin, Kim's mother found herself wondering how her daughter was going to look in prison orange.

IV.

The expression on Dementor's face as he saw the bailiff lead Kim into the courtroom was one of supreme confidence.

"Miss Possible," the judge said, "you have been charged with the theft of a …" the jurist adjusted her glasses and looked at the notes before her, "… transportulator. How do you plead?"

Kim, who was now wearing a classic blue sleeveless dress, rose from her seat. She was grateful that Officer Hobble had let her change prior to her arraignment; she wanted the judge to know she took the proceedings seriously and felt she'd be better able to do that if she looked her best. "Not guilty, your honor," she said with conviction.

"I'm setting a trial date of April 23," the judge announced. "Do either the defense or prosecution have any objections?"

Neither Reuben nor Hank registered a protest.

"In light of your past service to the community, I am remanding you to your parents' custody."

"Badical!" Ron cried out.

The judge rammed her gavel. "There will be quiet in the court."

"Gotcha," Ron said sheepishly.

Reuben rose from his seat. "Your honor, the prosecution requests that Miss Possible remain incarcerated until the trial."

"What?" a stunned Kim exclaimed. That would mean missing school, and missions, and cheerleading … and going to the dance with Josh!

"Given her vast network of contacts," Reuben explained, "she could easily leave Middleton and go into hiding anywhere in the world."

The jurist considered the prosecutor's concern. "Miss Possible, would you consent to wearing a monitor?"

While Kim wasn't pleased by the idea of wearing an ankle bracelet, she far preferred that sitch to remaining in jail. "Yes, ma'am."

"With all due respect, your honor," Reuben said. "Miss Possible has been assisted in her vigilante activities by a technical genius named Wade Load. We believe that Mr. Load could easily deactivate the monitor, allowing Miss Possible to elude the authorities. The prosecution respectfully reiterates its request that the defendant remain in custody. In fact, we would like to see her transferred to the Tri-City Penitentiary. Miss Possible's cordial relations with the Middleton Police Department are public knowledge and while I have complete confidence in the integrity of local law enforcement officials there are those who might question their impartiality, given their professional relationship with the defendant."

"Excuse me, your honor," Hank interjected. "The Tri-City Penitentiary is a wholly inappropriate venue for the incarceration of a teenager. The prosecution may not have noticed, but my client is a minor."

"A minor who regularly interacts with and involves herself in the affairs of adults including, but not limited to, world leaders, supervillains, dictators, circus owners and pilots," Reuben shot back. "Miss Possible should be held in an adult facility and tried as one, too."

The judge sighed. "Miss Possible, as much as it pains me to agree with the prosecution, Mr. Stoppable has made a number of compelling arguments, all of which I must accept. Bailiff, please escort the defendant from the courtroom."

The court officer came over to Kim, who rose from her chair, stunned. The teen hero looked at her lawyer, then back at her family and finally at her best friend, all of whom were trying to put on brave faces for her.

An awkward silence ensued, which was finally broken by Ron. "Don't let the man get you down, KP!" Ron said. "We're gonna beat this."

Kim smiled weakly at her best friend. "Thanks, Ron," she said before she left the courtroom with the bailiff.

After Kim had left, Reuben approached Ron and the Possibles.

"Ron," the young lawyer said.

"Traitor," Ron hissed.

"Hey, I'm just doing my job!" Reuben protested.

"'Sha! Just doing my job," Ron mimicked. "You're as evil as the garden gnome!"

Reuben rolled his eyes. "Take a deep breath and get a grip, cousin. We need to talk."

"I don't think so," Ron said as he turned his back on his relative and began to walk away.

"Well, I do," Reuben retorted as he grabbed the teen's arm. "Because you're going to be my star witness."

V.

Kim looked down at her newest outfit, an orange prison jump suit, grateful Bonnie couldn't see her. The one-piece was a fashion disaster and the snarky brunette wouldn't hesitate to tell her so.

The trip from the courthouse to the prison had gone by in a blur. Kim barely remembered being registered as a new inmate. As she followed the guard down the corridor she felt a rising sense of injustice and resentment. She'd only tried to do the right thing, yet now she was in trouble, essentially sentenced and jailed before she'd even been tried, all on account of the skills and abilities she'd used to help people. Maybe Drakken had been right. Maybe she should have stuck to baby-sitting.

_No, that's quitter talk_, she imagined Ron saying to her. Agreeing with that sentiment, she told herself to make the best of the sitch. Perhaps a little time on the inside would give her better insight into the criminal mind.

"Okay, Ms. Possible, we're here," the guard said as he opened the door to the teen hero's new living quarters. "Kim Possible, meet your new cell mate …"

* * *

_TBC …_


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to Mr. Wizard, Jurnee Jakes, spectre666, Boris Yeltsin, screaming phoenix, CajunBear73, Quathis, Josh84, acosta perez jose ramiro, Cody MacArthur Fett, Drakonis Aurous, Charles Gray, TexasDad, Zaratan, Jason Barnett, Ace Ian Combat, campy, Molloy, Danny-171984, and RonHeartbreaker for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Special thanks to proofreader extraordinaire campy, who has earned a well-deserved shuffle board win …

Leave a review, get a response.

KP, RS, et. al. © Disney

* * *

I. 

"He can't make me talk, can he?" Ron anxiously asked Hank.

"Well, no …" the young attorney replied, eliciting a sigh of relief from Ron. "However, he can compel you to take the stand. Of course, once there, you can invoke your Fifth Amendment rights."

"But if Ronald does that, the jury's going to assume he has something to hide," James observed.

"True," Hank agreed. "There may be a way we can avoid this, however …" Hank said as he explained his idea to Ron and the Possibles.

II.

"Freaky!" Adrena Lynn said as she looked up to see a jump-suited Kim Possible being led into her cell.

"This so cannot be happening," the teen grumbled.

"Look at it this way," the guard said helpfully. "This should be worth a reduction in your sentence."

"Spankin'" Kim said as the cell door was locked behind her.

III.

Ron's worries about Kim's sitch had grown exponentially now that his ambitious cousin was involved. The tow-headed sidekick headed to Bueno Nacho, hoping some cheese-soaked snackage would set his mind at ease.

The moment he walked through the front door of his favorite Tex-Mex eatery, he knew something was off. It wasn't so much that he was there without his best friend, which was in and of itself strange; it was the way everyone was looking at him.

The first people he noticed looking at him differently were his long-time tormentors from D Hall.

"Hey, guys," he said nervously, fearing that he was about to be relieved of his Naco money.

"Uh, hey, Stoppable," one of them said before the gang hurriedly retreated to a booth in the rear of the restaurant.

"That's weird," Ron said to Rufus, who was perched on his shoulder. "Good, I guess, but weird."

"Uh huh, weird," Rufus agreed.

The young man and his diminutive companion approached the counter. "Hi Ned!" Ron said.

"Welcome to Bueno Nacho," Ned said with what Ron would have sworn was – a mixture of fear and admiration? "May I take your order?"

"Hmmmm," Ron replied. "I'll have a Naco, grande sized, with two chimmeritos and a Slurpster. What about you, Rufus?"

"Cheese!"

"You heard the man," Ron said to Ned.

"Got it," the counterman said. "That'll be $8.95." Ron handed over a ten; Ned returned his change.

As Ron waited for his food, he felt distinctly uncomfortable; it was as if he was being watched. He wondered if he'd done anything to draw attention to himself and looked down. Much to his relief, his cargoes weren't on backwards. A few moments later, Ned brought his order to the counter.

"So, what's it like?" the geeky young man with an adenoid problem asked in what he hoped was a conspiratorial voice.

"Uh, what's what like?" Ron asked.

"You know."

"Nope. I'm pretty sure I don't. In fact, I'm sure I don't."

"Ron, you have street cred," Ned explained, awe filling his voice.

"I do?"

Ned slapped his forehead, unable to believe that Ron, who'd been made a BN assistant manger in less time than anyone else in corporate history, could be so dense. "You're the sidekick to the now-infamous Kim Possible! Who knows what mayhem you're capable of?"

"What do you mean by now-infamous? Kim's been famous for a long time," Ron replied, causing Ned to slap his forehead again. "Wait a minute," Ron continued as he began to understand what Ned was implying, "you're telling me that just because KP's in jail – unfairly I might add – people think I'm trouble?"

"Well, you do follow her lead and go everywhere with her. So, if she's bad news, you must be, too."

"You think?"

"I know," Ned said.

Rufus nodded. "Uh huh."

Ron thought of that as he headed to the booth he usually shared with Kim.

"So, the Ronster's got some street cred," the tow-headed teen said as he settled into his seat. "Well, Rufus, you know what they say."

"Uh uh," the naked mole rat admitted.

"Use it or lose it," Ron explained.

Rufus scratched his head.

"I think it's time to pay a visit to my buds from D Hall," Ron explained, a wicked glint in his eye.

Before he could do that, however, someone came to see him: Tara.

"Hi, Ron," the usually cheerful blonde cheerleader said.

"Hi, Tara," he said.

"Mind if I sit down?" she asked, a note of concern in her voice.

"No, no, not at all," he said, sure Kim wouldn't mind him sharing their booth with Tara; after all, they were all cheer squad buds. "So, whassup?"

"Well, actually, I wanted to ask you the same question," she replied. "I know how tight you and Kim are."

"We have been best friends since Pre-K," Ron said with pride. "You know, it's kind of strange not hangin' with her."

"I bet," Tara said before pausing. "Maybe," she continued, "while Kim's, um, away, we could hang together …"

Ron blinked twice as his brain processed what he'd just heard. "Uh, well, yeah, sure," he finally said, still wondering if he should pinch himself to confirm he wasn't dreaming. "That'd be, uh, badical."

"Great!" Tara said enthusiastically. "We could see a movie."

"A movie?" Ron stammered. "You want to see a movie?"

"It'd be fun! And maybe we could get some pizza at J.P. Bearymore's."

"You want to go to J.P. Bearymore's?" Ron spluttered. "W-with me?"

Tara blushed. "I know it's a kids' place, but …"

"No! No!" Ron interjected, waving his hands. "I'm all about J.P. Bearymore's!"

"Really?" Tara asked.

"Oh, yeah. You know," he said enthusiastically, "I came for the games but stayed for the burnt pizza smell—"

"I love the burnt pizza smell!" Tara interjected.

"No way!" Ron said.

"Way!" Tara squealed.

"Well, there's only one thing to say to that," Ron stated firmly.

"What?" Tara asked.

"Booyah!"

IV.

"I always knew you were an extreme fake," Adrena Lynn taunted her cellmate.

Kim snorted. "Pot calling the kettle black much?" she retorted as she lay on her bunk; she'd been staring at the ceiling as she worried about her brothers and what mischief they might get up to in her room during her absence.

"I think not," Adrena Lynn said. "You're nothing but a vigilante cheerleader who takes the law into her own hands."

"I am so not a vigilante!" Kim shot back. "I help people!"

"Try telling that to a jury, Miss I Can Steal Anything," Kim's freaky bunkmate said smugly.

"I did not steal anything!" Kim protested.

"That's not what they're saying in the exercise yard," Adrena Lynn countered.

"Wait, I'm prison gossip?" Kim asked incredulously.

"It's been a slow week," the former extreme stunt personality explained. "Anyway, word is you've been boosting stuff for years."

"That's so flawed!" Kim yelled. "I have to baby sit so I can have some cash!"

"So you say, Miss Goody Two Shoes Teen Who Supposedly Saves The World," Adrena Lynn said, using air quotes. "That could all be a cover for your work with Crime Incorporated."

"I so cannot believe this," Kim said, her exasperation clear.

"Freaky, isn't it?" Adrena asked with a wicked smile. "If only I'd done an expose on you …"

V.

"Admit it. You are jealous." Dementor said before he took a sip of his double latte.

"I am not," Drakken said petulantly as he dipped his biscotti into his half-caf mocha frappuccino.

"Do you think I cannot see the lies coming from your mouth?" Dementor asked. "You are filled vith ze envy."

"Am not."

"Are too," Dementor sing-songed.

"I am not!" Drakken protested.

"Give it up, Doc," his lippy long-time sidekick said as she sat down with her black coffee. "You're jealous."

"Not helping, Shego," Drakken said through gritted teeth.

"I've gotta give you your props," she said to Dementor. "Princess in prison. I love it."

"Princess in prison. I love it," Drakken mimicked.

"Vhat iss this, the kindergarten?" Dementor asked.

"She wouldn't be in jail if it weren't for me, Doctor Drakken!" the blue-skinned mad scientist declared.

"And how vould this be so?" Dementor asked.

"If I hadn't tricked Kim Possible into steal— uh, misappropriating—your teleportation device—"

"It iss a TRANSPORTULATOR!" Dementor shrieked.

"Whatever. You say tomayto, I say tomahto," Drakken said dismissively. "The fact is, without my brilliant plan, Kim Possible would never have broken the law and therefore would not be in the hoosegow."

"Fine," Dementor said with a roll of the eyes. "And for your brilliancy you vould like vhat? A medal?"

"Yes!" Drakken declared as he stood up in triumph. "I mean no. All I want is …"

"Vhat?"

"The world!"

"I hear a lot of talk but I don't see anyone doing the walk," Shego observed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Drakken asked.

"Kimmie is locked up in the pokey. So what do you do? Take advantage of her absence to launch a new plot? Nooooooooo, you sit here drinking coffee."

"I will have you know I am not just drinking coffee," Drakken said heatedly.

"You could sure fool me," Shego said.

"If you were more observant, you would realize that I am currently devising my greatest scheme ever!"

"Uh huh," Shego said as she got up.

"Where are you going?" Drakken asked.

"Well," she answered. "I observe a bank across the street. And since Kim Possible is in the big house, I think I'm going to make a withdrawal."

"Wait," Drakken said as he looked out the window and saw the local Tri-City Credit Union. "I thought you banked at Go City Savings."

"I do," Shego said.

"Then, oh …" Drakken said as he realized what Shego was going to do. "Do you, uh, think you could get me some?"

VI.

Kim walked into the prison rec room, ferociously grateful to be free of Adrena Lynn's company, if even for only an hour. She discretely took in her surroundings, wanting to know if any of the other villains she'd tangled with were inside; none, she soon saw, were.

She noticed a magazine rack and walked towards it. While Kim didn't expect to see a copy of _Spirit Squad Weekly_, she hoped she'd find something worth reading. She had begun looking through the periodicals when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned and saw a tall, homely, burly woman whose nickname she would later learn was Tiny.

"Can I help you?" Kim asked.

"Aren't you precious?" Tiny asked with a sneer, causing Kim to bristle.

"No, I'm Kim Possible," the incarcerated teen hero said as she removed the woman's hand from her shoulder.

"More like Kim Prisoner," Tiny japed, eliciting laughter from some of the other inmates.

Kim arched an eyebrow. "Let me guess. You passed yourself off as a comedian and they locked you up for fraud," she said coolly, earning 'oooohs' and 'aaaaahs' from the assembled crowd.

"Twinkie, you are going down," Tiny said menacingly.

"You so didn't call me Twinkie," Kim snarled.

"I sure did, Twinkie," Tiny said as she cracked her knuckles. "And now I think it's time for someone to teach you what's up."

Kim seethed at the dissing. Though she was surrounded by her fellow inmates and numerous guards, she knew already she'd have to handle this sitch on her own. "You talk tough," the incarcerated teen hero said, knowing that if she didn't defend herself, her time in prison would become even more of a waking nightmare. "Bring it."

Tiny looked at Kim through narrowed eyes, then made her move.

_To be continued …_

* * *

**_Author's request: if you leave a review, pleased do not reveal the identity of Kim's cellmate! _**


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks to campy, spedclass, whitem, daywalkr82, screaming phoenix, CajunBear73, Jurnee Jakes, spectre666, Nftnat, Boris Yeltsin, acosta perez jose ramiro, Samurai Crunchbird, Quathis, Drakonis Aurous, Josh84, Charles Gray, Whisper from the Shadows, Ace Ian Combat, Danny-171984, Mr. Wizard, Joe Stoppinghem, RonHeartbreaker, Molloy, Darkcloudalpha and mr.the.ninja for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Special thanks to campy for his beta and proof work.

Leave a review, receive a response.

KP © Disney

* * *

I.

"You're going to go on a _date_ with that loser?" Bonnie shrieked.

"Ron's not a loser!" Tara protested.

"You could have any guy in school, why would you want Stoppable?" Bonnie demanded.

"Because he's sweet and funny and he's brave and he has the most adorable cowlick," Tara replied.

Bonnie had to fight the urge to hurl before she spoke. "You know things like this just aren't done. You're a cheerleader!"

"Ron's a cheerleader, too," Tara retorted.

"He's the slobberdog," Bonnie snapped.

"You're just jealous!" Tara shot back.

"Of you? Going out with Stoppable? Puh-leeze," Bonnie said dismissively.

"I have something that was Kim's and you don't," Tara said triumphantly.

"What are you talking about?" a suddenly curious Bonnie asked.

"Ron," Tara said smugly.

"K may have her many failings," Bonnie observed, "but dating that loser was not one of them."

"Which just shows she's not as smart as everyone thinks she is," Tara noted. "She spends all her time swooning over guys like Josh but couldn't hope for a better BF than Ron. But now that she's in jail, he's going to be all mine."

Bonnie gawped at the devilish expression on her supposedly innocent friend's face. "I never knew you had it in you," she said with frank admiration.

"What do you mean?" Tara asked.

"You're ruthless," Bonnie said approvingly.

"Who? Me?" Tara smiled innocently in reply.

Bonnie cocked an eyebrow, then sighed. "So you're really going to do this?"

"Yes, I am," Tara said. "I know you don't like Ron, but I thought you could at least be happy for me."

"Fine," Bonnie said flatly. "I'll be happy for you."

"Thanks!" Tara said gleefully as she hugged her friend. "Who knows? Maybe we could go on a double date, you and Brick, me and Ron."

"Don't push it," Bonnie said. "Just because I'm trying to be happy for you, doesn't mean I'm willing to be seen socially with that dork. Besides, I'm so done with Brick."

"Oh?" Tara asked.

"Yeah," Bonnie said as her attention shifted from her friend to her latest intended conquest: Josh Mankey.

II.

Tiny moved with impressive, and unexpected, speed. One moment Kim and the con were warily circling one another, the next the incarcerated teen hero was confronted with two meaty fists just millimeters from her face. Kim began to take deep breaths, preparing herself for her foe's next move.

It wasn't long before Tiny struck.

III.

The Possibles and Ron were once again seated at a conference table with Hank Perkins. The young attorney's idea for the upcoming trial was unorthodox, to say the least, and Kim's parents had asked if they could mull over his suggestion. After debating the pros and cons of his strategy, they had arrived at a decision.

"Hank, we've discussed your idea," James said as he and Ann held hands, "and—"

"Are you sure you graduated from law school?" Ron interjected.

"Yes, I am," Hank said defensively. "And I have the diploma and student loan statements to prove it. Now," he continued, his hands held up to ward off any further objection. "I know what I'm proposing is a wee bit unorthodox, but sometimes you need to think outside of the jury box." Hank shook his head as he chuckled at his little joke.

"Dude," Ron said after rolling his eyes, "this isn't just outside of the jury box, it's not even in the same town as the courthouse."

"As much as it surprises me to say so, Ronald is right," James said.

"Hey!" Ron protested. "I've been right before. Who told KP Monkey Fist was 500 miles of bad road? Who told her that Wannaweep was evil? Who told her that the moon shot was faked?"

"The moon shot. Faked," James snorted.

"How do you know it wasn't?" Ron asked.

"What do you mean?" James replied.

"Were you there?"

"Well, no, but …"

"So it could have been faked!" Ron said triumphantly.

"Ron, why would anyone want to fake the moon shot?" Ann asked in her most reasonable voice.

"Why would fifty million Frenchmen worship Jerry Lewis as some kind of comedy genius?" Ron retorted.

Ann realized she had no response to that question. In fact, she was pretty sure nobody did.

"Some things are just sick and wrong, Mrs. Dr. P," Ron said with an emphatic shake of the head. "Wrong-sick! Like this plan!" he added with conviction.

"I'm sorry," Hank countered, "but short of making you disappear, it's the only way to prevent Reuben from calling you as a witness and possibly condemning Miss Possible to spend precious, unrecoverable years in prison."

Ann and James looked at one another, then nodded. Ann then spoke.

"Ron, I know Hank's plan is a long shot, but if your cousin calls you to the stand, Kimmie could be in big trouble …"

"Yeah, I know," he said as his shoulders slumped. "But I can't do this," he continued, looking out the window, not wanting to face Kim's parents. "I mean, don't get me wrong, Ron Stoppable is all about helping his best friend and has never been against doing things the easy way but the last time I did this I was given so much detention my 'rents were ready to forward my mail to the school."

"We understand, Ronald," James said. "I'm sure Kimmie-cub will, too. I'm sure she can earn her degrees through a correspondence course."

"Aw, c'mon, that's not fair, Dr. P," Ron protested only to have his observation met with something that took his breath away: Dr. Ann Possible was flashing Ron the most intense puppy dog pout he'd ever seen, one that put Kim's very best efforts in that department to shame.

Ron sighed. He knew when he was licked. "Fine, I'll do it," he said as he slumped down in his chair, imagining what it would be like to grow old with Vinny and Big Mike in detention.

IV.

Kim realized that Tiny had her trapped. During their shadow boxing, the larger woman took advantage of her familiarity with the prison rec room and managed to back the teen into a corner. She grinned at Kim, who was so not enjoying having those two beefy fists in her face. Kim decided that the only option she had was to duck and slip away; that course of action was taken away when two of Tiny's cronies grabbed Kim by the arms.

"Time's up, Twinkie," Tiny said malevolently.

Kim was wondering if Josh would still ask her out if she had a broken nose when the big woman took her completely by surprise.

"Choose," Tiny demanded.

"Excuse me?" Kim said as she found herself staring at two checkers: one red, one black.

"And they told me you were an honor student," Tiny snorted. "Let me try a word you might understand, Twinkie. Pick."

Kim grasped the red one, then watched as Tiny turned and walked away from her. "Would someone mind explaining the sitch to me?"

Tiny turned back and glowered at Kim. "You. Me. Checkers tomorrow. Don't miss it, Twinkie."

"Or?" Kim asked.

"You'll have a front row seat for Junior's next concert."

Kim gulped, then returned Tiny's harsh gaze. "You're so going to regret that."

"We'll see, Twinkie," Tiny said as she left the rec room in the company of two guards. "We'll see."

Kim bristled as the door closed behind Tiny. She so hated being called Twinkie.

V.

"This is a highly unusual request," Doctor Director said.

"Admittedly, it is," Hank said. "However, under the circumstances …"

"I understand," she said as she watched Ron and Rufus examining a scale model of a GJ hoverjet. She was about to accede to Hank's request when Ron picked up the plane and began making propeller sounds. "I must confess to having deep reservations about this."

Much to her surprise, Ron resolved the matter for her. When he was done playing with the model, he approached Director's desk. "Pretty swank outfit you got here."

"Thank you," she said, wondering where this was going.

"You probably don't get to run a joint like this unless people have a lot of confidence in you, right?" Ron asked, now leaning on Director's desk.

"That would be correct," she answered.

"I wonder how a Congressional oversight committee would feel if they found out about the Ron Factor project," Ron asked. "Or you and Sheldon."

"You wouldn't dare," she said.

"Who me? No. Never," Ron said. "Unless somebody hit me with, oh, I don't know, a truth ray or something."

Betty Director and Ron Stoppable stared at one another.

"Fine," she relented. "As of 0900 hours today, you are officially an adjunct member of Global Justice's Judge Advocate General Corps …"

Ron smiled smugly at Hank. "Ah-booyah."

"… Pending your passage of the Colorado State Bar Exam this Saturday."

"Consider it in the bag, Doctor D," Ron said with the confidence of a teen who knew he had an appointment with the inventor of the IQ-boosting Project Phoebus, before he began stroking his chin in thought. "Doctor D, Doctor D – now why doesn't that sound right …" he asked himself.

VI.

"Hi, Ron!"

"Hi, Tara," the tow-headed sidekick replied to the bubbly cheerleader as he turned from his locker. "Whassup?"

The cheerleader whipped out two movie tickets from her book bag and thrust them into Ron's face. He squinted as he read the small typeface – and then his eyes opened wide as saucers.

"No way!" he said in awe.

"Way!" she said, practically jumping up and down with glee.

"Coolio!" Ron said. "The last two times I've tried to see _Blood Sucking Aliens from Altoona_ I've had to go with Kim on missions to stop Drakken and then Junior. I mean, Drakken and the death ray I can understand. But just what did Junior think he was going to do with all those combs anyway?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Tara said sweetly. "Though it sounds so brave …"

Ron couldn't help but puff out his chest with pride.

"… But the only mission you're going on Friday night is with me to the Middleton Multiplex. Got it?"

"You. Me. Multiplex. No villains," Ron said with a grin. "Got it."

"Good," Tara said before she leaned over and gave Ron a buss on the cheek. "See you at practice this afternoon!"

"Yeah … practice," he said with a goofy grin as he watched Tara saunter off. After he collected himself he turned to Rufus. "I'm going to a movie with Tara on Friday! Can you believe it, little buddy? A date with Tara! I can't wait to tell Kim!"

VII.

"So how's Bonnie doing as cheer squad captain?" Kim asked from her side of the plexiglass divider.

"Surprisingly well," Ron said. "She can be mean, but she's actually working hard."

Kim snorted. "Probably trying to take my job away permanently."

Ron waved Kim off dismissively. "Not gonna happen, KP. Everybody knows you are the most bon-diggity cheer captain Middleton High has ever had …"

"Why, thanks Ron. That's so sweet of you!" Kim cooed.

"… Of course, if you do wind up staying in the slammer, I have to admit that Bonnie could be a pretty good replacement. She did last three weeks as captain last time, after all–"

"Ron," Kim growled.

"Not that you'll be staying here for long!" Ron said hastily.

"Any other news from school?" she asked, an edge still to her voice.

Ron beamed.

Kim quirked an eyebrow. "Spill."

"Tara and I are going to the movies on Friday!" he said.

"You're going to the movies with Tara. On Friday?" Kim asked in disbelief.

"Can you believe it?" Ron crowed. "I'm going on a real live date!"

"I'm happy for you. Really," Kim said with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. She and Ron always spent Friday nights together. She didn't see why her incarceration should change that even if they'd be spending time in a prison's secure visiting room and not at Bueno Nacho or the movies. The thought of movies only soured Kim's mood further.

"So, how's it going on the inside?" Ron asked, oblivious to his best friend's unhappiness with his news.

"Spankin'," she said acidly. "I'm bunking with Adrena Lynn – and don't you dare say 'freaky,' Ron Stoppable, or you'll so be busted – and the Rec Room bully has it in for me."

"That tanks," he said sympathetically.

"It so tanks," she agreed. "At least I can look forward to going to the dance with Josh. Assuming I get out of here in time."

"Uh, yeah, about Josh," Ron said, tugging at this shirt collar.

"What?" Kim groaned.

"I kind of saw him hanging with Bonnie at the Bueno yesterday."

"Anybody can hang at Bueno Nacho," she said nervously. "We hang there all the time."

"Uh, yeah," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. "But we usually don't drink the same Slurpster."

"This cannot be happening," Kim said in disbelief. "Bonnie's making moves on Josh?"

"Well, for what it's worth," Ron noted, "I haven't actually seen any tonsil hockey going on between them though I'll let you know the minute I do!"

Kim shot him a withering look.

"Okay, so maybe that was not the best way to put that," he conceded.

"So not the best way," Kim agreed.

"Hey, I've got just the thing to take your mind off Mankey!" Ron said as he realized he had something big to share with her.

"Do tell," she said, unconvinced that her best friend would be able to distract her from her problems in the world of romance.

Distract her did, however, as he outlined the plan devised by Hank, supported by her parents, and approved by Betty Director. "So what do you think sounds better?" he concluded. "Ron Stoppable, Esquire or Ron Stoppable, Attorney at law?"

The tow-headed teen looked at his best friend, eagerly awaiting a response.

"My life is so over," Kim said as she plopped her head down on her folded arms.

* * *

_To Be Continued …_

* * *

**A/N**: At least one reader is thinking, "Ron couldn't become a lawyer that way." That reader would be correct. That said, I did base the scenario on Colorado's legal credentialing process. To become a court-recognized lawyer, Ron would need to pass the bar and graduate from an accredited law school. Thanks to Doctor Zaruda, he can do that in just a couple of days.

Now, before any of you say, "MrDrP, that's preposterous!" do remember that we're talking about the KP universe, a place where there are flying cars; giant robots; at least two confirmed alien species and one talking naked mole rat; and, thanks to Project Phoebus, cures for the common cold, a conclusion to Schubert's _Unfinished Symphony_ and cold fusion. So, Ron becoming a lawyer in just a couple of days? No big!


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks to daywalkr82, spectre666, Whisper from the Shadows, Mr. Wizard, screaming phoenix, Acaykath, whitem, CajunBear73, Boris Yeltsin, Quathis, Nftnat, Kwebs, Josh84, Jurnee Jakes, spedclass, XoXoGigglieGirl1, noncynic, Ace Ian Combat, RonHeartbreaker, TexasDad, Danny-171984, Guyver Unit 1, Molloy, mr.the.ninja, Joe Stoppinghem, and SpeedySnail for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Special thanks to campy for proofreading this chapter.

Leave a review and I'll send you a response.

KP et. al. © Disney; all new characters © the author.

* * *

I.

Kim sighed as the slop was unceremoniously spooned onto her plate. While she couldn't identify what she'd been served, she was pretty sure that the morning's meal was a violation of her eighth amendment rights. Resigned to her culinary fate, she took her tray to an open seat at the end of a table at the far end of the room. She was sitting down when she heard a familiar voice.

"Someone looks like a grumpy monkey!"

Kim found herself confronted with the unwelcome visage of none other than DNAmy. "May I join you?" the mad geneticist trilled.

"Uh, sure," Kim said, surprised DNAmy would want her company given their past history.

Amy set down her tray and beamed at Kim. "It's so good to know there's another cuddler here!" she enthused with such gusto that a dozen prisoners, including Tiny, looked their way. Kim reddened as her fellow jailbirds smirked and tittered.

"So, why are you so blue?" Amy asked as she began to eat her mystery meal.

"Hello!" Kim said as she stared at her breakfast companion "I'm in prison!"

"You're not fooling me," DNAmy said as she waved dismissively. "That's not all that's turned your smile upside down and into a frown."

Kim shifted uncomfortably in her chair, then looked away. She really didn't want to talk about the way her social life was falling apart. First there had been the news about Bonnie making moves on Josh. Then she and Ron had had quite the row after he revealed Hank's plan for her defense. He had clearly been hurt by Kim's lack of confidence. And while she had ferociously serious concerns about Ron serving on her defense team, even if he'd been given an IQ of 300, she still felt bad about the conversation and regretted that they wouldn't be able to talk things through now that he had his stupid date with Tara.

"Missing your cuddle buddy?" DNAmy asked before she leaned in conspiratorially and whispered. "Don't worry. I've got contraband."

"Excuse me?" Kim asked.

Amy's eyes darted to and fro. Then she reached into her sleeve and withdrew …

"A Flamingoat!" Kim cooed, momentarily forgetting where she was.

"They only made ten of them!" the two women said in unison.

As Kim gazed at the rare plush a shadow fell over the table.

"Oh, how sweet. Con Possible and DNFatty are playing with their dollies," sneered a very tall, hostile-looking inmate who swiped the toy out of the geneticist's hands.

"Give that back to me, you big meanie!" Amy protested.

"Or what? You'll scramble my genes?" the woman snorted.

"Or you'll have to deal with me," Kim growled as she rose from the table and interposed herself between the visitor and Amy. "Give."

The aggressive inmate looked at Kim through narrowed eyes, dropped the Flamingoat to the floor. "You think you're all that …"

"So not impressed," Kim said as she picked up the cuddle buddy and handed it to DNAmy. The woman moved to kick Kim but the teen saw the oncoming attack, dropped to the floor, rolled and sprang to her feet. "Been there, heard that …"

The two women glared at one another before the inmate moved away.

"You really are a hero!" DNAmy said.

"It's no big," Kim said modestly.

"But I'm a villain," Amy said, unable to hide her surprise. "And, and you helped me!"

"So not the drama," Kim said. "It's what I do." Then she looked both ways and added softly, "Besides, we cuddlers need to stick together!"

II.

"Let's give it up for our next guest on _Good Morning, Middleton_: Professor Dementor!" boomed Sturgis.

The audience did as requested, giving the Teutonic villain a warm round of applause. Dementor waved at the crowd as he strode to one of the director's chairs next to the irrepressible talk show host and took a seat.

"So, Professor, rumor has it that you're pretty hot stuff in the villain community these days."

"Vell, I don't know about zat," Dementor said modestly.

"Can you believe this, people? He's not only an evil genius, he's modest too!" Sturgis crowed. "Come on, fess up. How does it feel to be the guy who's taken Kim Possible out of action? Your colleagues in the villain community must be going ape!"

"I must admit the springing it has put in my step," Dementor said.

"You want to show us?"

"Vhat?"

"The spring in your step," Sturgis said as he stood up. "Come on, I bet the audience wants to see it."

Dementor didn't seem convinced.

"What about it, people?" Sturgis asked the audience. "You want to see some spring stepping?"

The audience began to clap wildly.

Dementor, unsure of what to do, rose from his seat. Then he began to bounce back and forth, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "How is zis?" he asked.

"How is this? How is this?" Sturgis asked. "Skelman, this is amazing! Get this man a strudel!"

Dementor, getting into the swing of things, began to click his heels together. "Zo, perhaps ze people vould like to zee ze valtzing?"

III.

"I'm telling you, Mr. B, this is on the up and up!"

Steve Barkin looked suspiciously from Ron to the letter from Doctor Director asking that Ron be excused from class for the rest of the week for a special assignment at Middleton Law School to Ron again. "I don't know what kind of game you're playing, Stoppable, but when I find out you're going to be listing the detention room as your permanent address," the gruff teacher growled.

"It's no game," Ron said. "I'm really going to law school."

"Right. And someday I'm going to fall madly in love with a villain!" Barkin said.

"Admittedly, not a likely possibility," Ron observed. Seeing the dark look on his teacher's face he hastily added, "But it could happen! I can definitely see you laying on the charm with some villainous vixen!"

"Nice use of alliteration," Barkin said grudgingly.

"Thanks, Mr. B," Ron said brightly.

"You're welcome. Now quit your yapping and get out of here!" Barkin snapped.

"Gotcha," Ron said before he turned and left Barkin's office. As he walked down the corridor, he looked at his watch, and picked up his pace. He had a tight schedule to keep if he was going to visit Doctor Zaruda, do three years of law school work over the next three days, go to the movies with Tara, and pass the bar on Saturday. It was going to be a busy few days and he was going to have to do a lot of work but he was determined to show Kim that she'd been mistaken in not believing her best friend was up to the task of defending her …

IV.

"Oy, what are you doing now?" Shego asked as she walked into Drakken's lab carrying the Faith Diamond, which she'd just boosted from a museum in Washington, D.C. The feeling of impending failure was almost palpable as she looked at the seven giant whiteboards, all of which were covered with her employer's writing.

"Devising my greatest plan yet!" he crowed.

"Don't you think you should set the bar a little higher?" She gibed.

"Very funny, Shego," Drakken replied. "With Kim Possible in prison, there will be nobody to stop me from finally getting what's mine!"

"And that would be what? A seat at the Big People table at the next Lipsky family dinner?"

"Yes!" Drakken replied. "It's a scandal how I'm still seated with the kiddies! Gamekid this, dollie that …"

Shego sighed. "Doc, I was kidding."

"Well, er, um, so was I," he said, none too convincingly.

"Riiiight," Shego said. "So, other than scoring a better place at din-din, what are you planning?"

"Behold!" Drakken crowed. "Project Infinite Doom!"

"Sounds good. Like the title," Shego said. "What's it do?"

"It delivers doom. Infinitely."

"Oy," Shego groaned. "You don't know, do you?"

"Yes, yes I do," Drakken said defensively. "I've just been focusing on branding. Messaging is everything, you know."

"Whatever," Shego said as she turned to leave the lair.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

"I just remembered there was a pair of boots at Country Club Banana that I wanted," Shego said as she walked through the door. "Since Kimmie's on vacation, I thought this would be a good time to do some more shopping …"

V.

"Squirrel stew?" Zaruda asked as he offered a bowl to Ron.

"Gee, thanks," the teen said as he considered the hot, steaming concoction. "But I already had some for breakfast."

"Good choice. I like mixing some oatmeal in mine," the hermit said, who didn't notice his visitor turning green. "So, how can I help?"

Ron, who was barely managing to keep his lunch down, explained what he needed.

Zaruda rubbed his chin. "Okay, we can do that. I've been making some modifications to Project Phoebus. Once I zap you, you should be good to go for at least two months."

"Badical!" Ron enthused. "I'll be able to ace all my finals!"

Zaruda looked at Ron suspiciously. "I thought you said this was a matter of global security."

"It is!" Ron said, wanting to kick himself. He quickly retrieved Doctor Director's letter. "See? Signed by the man herself!"

The reclusive genius read Director's missive.

"These are Zombie Mayhem cheat codes," the suspicious scientist said.

"Oops," Ron said nervously. "My bad. Here ya go."

Zaruda handed the codes back to a relieved Ron and took the letter from Director. "Fine," he said after reading the GJ chief's letter. "I'll do this. But on one condition."

"Okay," Ron said.

"Global Justice has to help me improve the size and quality of my acorns. I'm just not getting the quality squirrel I need for my stew to come out the way mother's did …"

"Sure," Ron agreed as he once again began to turn green. Then he bolted for Zaruda's outhouse …

VI.

Kim and Tiny sat at a table that had been set up in the middle of the prison rec room. They were surrounded by what seemed to be the entire prison population. Nobody spoke, giving the game the feel of a face off between chess grandmasters.

The two women stared at one another impassively over the checkerboard, the game in its final stage.

"Your move, Twinkie," Tiny said.

Kim was about to make her move when she returned her checker to its place on the board. She folded her arms across her chest, considered her opponent and cocked an eyebrow.

"Losing your nerve?" Tiny asked.

"So not," Kim said confidently.

"Then play," the woman said.

"After you answer a question."

Seeing Kim wasn't going to continue with the game until she complied, Tiny nodded. "Okay, Twinkie, shoot."

"What's your damage?" Kim asked.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not exactly an expert on the prison social scene," Kim said. "But if it's anything like high school, the queen bee is supposed to be ignoring the new girl, not giving her a chance to take her down."

"Twinkie, there's no way you're taking me down," Tiny growled.

"I don't want to take you down," Kim said. "Besides, it's not as if I'm going to be here …"

Tiny watched as Kim's bravado began to falter. The conversation was reminding Kim of her argument with Ron, who, the more she thought about things, appeared to be her best hope for avoiding conviction.

"Figuring out that you got to do time if you commit the crime?" Tiny gibed.

"No," Kim said. "Yes. No. Grrrrrrr."

"You okay, Twinkie?"

"Will you stop calling me that?"

"What do you want me to call you? Princess?"

Kim stared at Tiny with a malevolence that only a woman who knows sixteen kinds of kung fu and is prepared to use at least fourteen of those styles simultaneously is capable of.

Tiny held up her hands and grinned. "Okay, I've had my laughs. I'm done yanking your chain."

"What?" Kim, who was caught off guard by Tiny's friendly expression and tone, asked.

"You heard me, Possible, you pass. You're okay."

"Uh, thanks," Kim said, unsure of what else to say. Earning the approval of prison inmates wasn't something she was accustomed to doing.

"So, what's eating you?" Tiny asked before adding with a wicked grin, "Other than being in prison, which is something I'm sure cheerleaders don't do?"

"So not funny," Kim retorted before she recalled something she'd said back in freshman year when she'd been sentenced to do time with Big Mike and Vinny in Room 13. Her frown turned into a bemused smile.

Tiny watched Kim and waited for her to say more. "How long have you been here?" the teen finally asked.

"Five years," Tiny said nonchalantly. "I'll be here for another ten."

"What are you in for?" Kim asked.

"Grand larceny," Tiny said. "I tried to fence a piece of highly advanced and very dangerous tech."

"What happened?"

"I was supposed to sell the thing to a villain named Barbara Ella. Turned out she was really the director of Global Justice. That dopey fake eye patch should have been a dead giveaway."

Kim couldn't help but grin.

"What?"

"The eye patch is real."

"How do you know?"

"I know Betty Director."

"And yet you're on the inside? What gives?"

"I play by the rules," Kim said with a shrug.

Tiny shook her head. "You're something else, Possible."

"Just your average teenaged girl," she said without any irony. Then her shoulders slumped and she said softly, "Who's in prison while her social life is turning into such the drama."

It was then that Kim and Tiny noticed that the prisoners and guards were now all huddled close to the table.

"Hello!" Kim snapped. "Nosy much?"

Chastened, the crowed dispersed, though DNAmy lingered. Seeing her looking lonely, Kim sighed. "You can join us," she said.

"Oh, goodie!" the mad geneticist trilled as she pulled up a chair. "Girl talk! Who's love life are we going to fix first? I've been having the dickens of a time with this honey of a …"

"Hers," Tiny said, pointing at Kim and cutting off DNAmy.

"Fine," Amy huffed. She crossed her arms and sat petulantly.

Kim rolled her eyes, then began to speak. "Okay, here's the sitch …"

VII.

The professor looked in amazement at the papers on his desk. Somehow, the teen before him had managed to master Constitutional Law in less than ninety minutes. His consideration of Marbury v. Madison was nothing less than brilliant. And his exposition on the notoriously obscure Second Amendment …

"So, am I good to go?" Ron asked.

"Apparently so, Mr. Stoppable," the academic said in wonder as he wrote "A" on a sheet of paper which he handed to his student.

"Badical!" Ron enthused. "See you 'round!"

Ron hurried out of the classroom. The moment the door closed behind him, the professor pulled out his phone and dialed a number. "Henry? It's Juan. I think I just met a future Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court …"

VIII.

"…soJoshisgoingtobedatingBonnieandIwon'thaveabestfriendbecauseIhurthisfeelingsandTara'sgoingtostealhimawayandI'llbeallalone!" Kim concluded.

Tiny rubbed her chin. "Sounds like you're pretty sweet on this guy."

"Well, he is golden," Kim said. "A real hottie," she added, her cheeks reddening. "Josh—"

"Josh," Tiny said brusquely. "What's he got to do with this?"

"Excuse me?" Kim replied, thoroughly confused.

Tiny said. "Let me set you straight, Possible. You think you've got a crush on this guy Josh. But the guy you're dating–even if you don't know it–is Ron."

Kim snorted. "I am so not dating Ron."

"You could sure fool me," DNAmy sing-songed.

"What are you talking about?" Kim asked.

"I've seen you two on missions," she said knowingly. "Rrowrrr!"

Kim stared gape-jawed at the mad geneticist. "I can't believe you think me. And Ron …"

"From what you've said, you spend all your time together, you obviously care about each other, and you're mad that he's going on a date with another girl," Tiny said. "Sure sounds like something's going on."

"There is nothing going on with me and Ron," Kim said flatly. "He's my best friend."

"But he's not your boyfriend," Tiny said.

"Exactly," Kim said.

"Why?" Tiny asked.

"What do you mean 'why'?"

"Why isn't Ron your boyfriend? He ugly?"

"No, he's just … Ron."

"And that's bad?"

"No, it's good."

"You ever kiss him?"

"Excuse me?" Kim asked.

"You know: swap spit, mash lips, that kind of thing."

"No!" Kim said indignantly before she recalled Christmas at the North Pole. "Well, there was that one time …"

"And?" Tiny asked as DNAmy looked on in anticipation.

"Well, it was kind of nice," Kim said as she remembered the buss under the parsley. She thought about that whole crazy Christmas, then found her mind wandering as she found herself thinking about Ron. He could be annoying, lazy, and maddening. But he was fun, loyal, brave in his own weird way, and she liked being with him a lot. None of which meant she like-liked Ron.

"So, you kissed him."

"Just on the cheek," Kim said. "Best friends do that."

Tiny shook her head. Kim Possible's resourcefulness was legendary – but it paled in comparison to her state of denial. "Okay, I'll let up," Tiny said. "Just one more question then I'll finish beating you."

"You are so not going to win this game," Kim said.

"We'll see," Tiny said. "You said your best friend who isn't your boyfriend is going on a date with some girl on Friday. How are you going to feel if he plays tonsil hockey with her?"

* * *

_To Be Continued … _


	7. Chapter 7

Holy Cannoli! It's been six months since I last updated this story. Thank, you dear reader, for your patience and rest assured that the next installment will not another half year to appear.

My thanks to spectre666, daywalkr82, Boris Yeltsin, whitem, screaming phoenix, Mr. Wizard, CajunBear73, Kwebs, Drakonis Aurous, Josh84, Quathis, noncynic, acosta perez jose ramiro, RonHeartbreaker, Danny-171984, TexasDad, Samurai Crunchbird, Michael Howard, Molloy, and Rabula Tasa for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

My thanks to campy for proofreading this chapter.

Leave a review and I'll send you a response.

KP © Disney; Tiny © the Author; Emma Bovary © Gustave Flaubert

* * *

I.

"Why me?" the burly guard named Earl asked as he watched the five foot five, 105-pound inmate deliver a rapid one-two strike to the hapless prison punching bag.

"Because there's no way I'm going near her," replied his even larger colleague, who, as is only possible in the world of fan-fiction and certain corners of small-town America, was named Merle. He winced as the prisoner spun, her auburn hair billowing about her, and launched a kick that struck home with brutal force.

"But you're bigger than me!" Earl protested as the flawlessly executed kick was followed up with a wicked karate chop.

"And I've got seniority so it's your problem," Merle countered as the martial arts-trained cheerleader delivered an impressive uppercut to the bag.

"How's it hanging, boys?" Tiny asked as she approached the two guards.

"Your friend seems to really torqued about losing that checkers game to you," Merle observed, gesturing towards the teen-hero-turned-con who continued to beat the daylights out of the defenseless punching bag.

Tiny snorted. "That's not the game that has her upset," she said dryly.

"Oh?" Merle asked.

The three winced before Tiny could respond – Kim had put the hapless piece of gym equipment into a headlock and begun to give it a vicious noogie.

"… It's the dating game that's got Possible on edge."

Merle whistled, then looked at Earle with pity. "Sorry, bud. No way I'm going in there to tell her she's going on leaf patrol."

II.

"Three. Two. One. And ACTION!" Jimmy Blamhammer barked.

"Allo. I am ze vorld famous, Kim Possible-defeating Professor DEMENTOR! Vhen I am vanting the relaxing, I play my Vagner on ze Henchco DVD/Veapon of Mass DESTRUCTION! Flip zis button und you vill be shtrumming to der sturming." The diminutive villain smiled triumphantly as he toggled a switch. "Flip zis one," he continued, pointing imperiously to another switch, "Und ze DVD laser is transformed into a death ray that even I, PROFESSOR DEMENTOR, SOON TO BE RULER OF EVERYTHING, am proud to use!

"Zis baby can be yours for not three million dollars, not two million dollars, but just one million dollars. Und, if you order yours by midnight tonight," he added, holding up a small yet impressive gadget, "Ve vill throw in zis handy spiral slicing thingie."

"Cut," Blamhammer yelled. While the Hollywood mogul wasn't normally wont to shoot ads, once he saw Dementor on _Good Day, Middleton_, he knew he had to work with the suddenly hot Teutonic talent, if only to maintain his reputation as Tinseltown's reigning movie-making maven.

"I am good, no?" Dementor asked, his hauteur suddenly gone, replaced by a keen desire for approval.

"Good? You're AMAZING!" Blamhammer said. "But the way you're holding back. It's messing with my mind …"

III.

Ron, who had just completed his last course, showed up at the Dean's office as scheduled. He was flipping through a copy of the World's Greatest University Law Review, shaking his head in disgust: the legal reasoning behind some of the articles was weak and the complete lack of pictures was nothing short of criminal.

"Mr. Stoppable."

Ron looked up to see a distinguished-looking, gray-haired woman. "Your deanship!" he said, quickly scrambling to his feet and throwing her a salute.

"Why don't you come into my office?" Linda Lawless said with a bemused smile.

He followed Dean Lawless into the administrative nerve center of the Law School. He watched intently as she walked to her desk and retrieved a large envelope embossed with the school seal. "While this whole situation is highly unorthodox," she said as she handed him the envelope, "you've completed all of your coursework in stellar fashion. Congratulations."

"Wow," Ron said as he held what he assumed was his diploma. "This is badical!"

"Indeed," she said dryly.

"Well, I don't mean to school and run, but the Ronster has a schedule to keep," he said as he headed for the door.

"May I ask you a question before you go?"

"Depends," Ron said. "Does this qualify as a billable?"

The Dean quirked a skeptical eyebrow.

"Lawyer humor," Ron said weakly.

"Take some advice: stick to the groundbreaking legal analysis," she said.

"Gotcha," he replied sheepishly.

The Dean walked up to him, rested her hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eye, "Ron, your law school needs your help."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Coolio!"

"Good," the dean said. "Ron, our most generous alumnus is worried that our current graduates aren't on par with those of other law schools."

"'Sha," he said dismissively. "We're the best!"

"That's how I feel," she agreed. "And that's why I want him to meet you."

"Me?"

"No other law school in the country has a student who has been able to produce such incisive work at such a young age. One evening with you and Myron Meanor's concerns will be addressed and we'll be looking at a new building."

"Whoa! You don't mean Myron Meanor, the host of Litigation TV's hit show _Mister Meanor's Neighborhood_?"

"The one and only."

"Dean, Ron Stoppable's all about the school pride. You need my help, you got it. When do you want me to meet Myron?"

"Tonight. Over dinner."

"Ooo," Ron said. "No can do. I've got a date."

"A date?"

"With a cheerleader!" Ron said with pride. "This is the single most badical moment of my life. Other than graduating from law school in under a week. Oh, and finally beating Felix Renton at a game of Zombie Mayhem. Almost."

"I see," the dean said with disappointment. "Well, I'll see you in June then."

"June?"

"At graduation. I hope Miss Possible is able to find other counsel. And that she isn't too angry with you for testifying against her."

"Huh?"

"Betty Director briefed me on Kim Possible's situation and how forestalling compelled testimony from you might be the difference between freedom and a decades-long, life-altering, prospect-crushing, future-destroying jail sentence for your best friend. If you can't serve as her lawyer you'll be on the stand offering what I can only suspect will be highly damaging testimony."

"If? What are you talking about? You just graduated me!"

"Not exactly," the dean said smugly. "I'd suggest you look inside that envelope."

Ron warily did as instructed. Vivid flashbacks to his Bar Mitzvah certificate ensued. "Lady, you don't play fair," he said, seeing that Lawless's signature was conspicuously absent from the document which he needed if he was to take the bar exam the next day.

The dean shrugged. "You've completed your coursework. You know that the law isn't always about fairness. Do we have a deal?"

"This tanks," he groused. "Do you know how cool it would have been for me to go on a date with a babelicious cheerleader?"

"Almost as cool as it would be for me to get that new building," she said as she took back Ron's unsigned diploma. "I'll see you at seven."

IV.

"Oy," Shego groaned as she dropped her bags and surveyed the scene before her. "Do I even want to know?" An elaborate diorama with tracks, toy cars, planes and space ships, a large stuffed plush poodle, what appeared to be surgical lasers, and a _Space Passage_ action figure modified to look like Professor Dementor filled the lair's workspace.

"Behold, Shego," Drakken declared with a grand wave of his arm. "Project Infinite Destructive Doom!"

"This is your big plot?" she sneered. "Princess is in the slammer so you're going to take advantage of the opportunity by playing with your dollies?"

"I am not 'playing with dollies'," Drakken protested. "Project Infinite Destructive Doom is a very complex plan and I'm modeling every possible permutation before we go live. I'm leaving nothing to chance. Besides," he added huffily as he adjusted the Dementor stand-in, "this is not a dolly. It's an action figure."

"You are so pathetic," she said with disgust.

"Scoff all you want now," Drakken retorted. "But when I defeat Dementor, you'll be eating crow."

Shego snorted. Then she picked up her stolen goods and turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Out," she replied. "My doctor told me to limit my exposure to whack."

V.

"Mind if we join you?" Tiny said as she and DNAmy approached the table with their trays.

"Sure," Kim said as she listlessly poked at the nondescript food on her plate.

"Somebody's a grumpy monkey," Amy trilled.

"So not in the mood," Kim growled.

"She's right, though," Tiny said. "I heard about the number you did on that punching bag in the gym this morning and something tells me that had nothing to do with the news that you're going on the work detail tomorrow."

Kim frowned. "It's Friday."

"And we know what that means," Amy said happily. "Ice cream!"

Kim shot the mad geneticist a withering look while Tiny snorted.

"How can you not be excited?" a perplexed Amy asked. "They have Cookies and Cream!"

"If I recall," the older con said, "your not-your-boyfriend has a hot date tonight."

"Yeah," Kim conceded, slumping like a marionette whose strings had just been cut. "I realize I might like like my best friend and I can't do a thing about it. This whole sitch is so ferociously frustrating."

"But you can do anything!" DNAmy said.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Kim said without much enthusiasm. "But I'm in here and Tara's out there with my Ron!"

Tiny snorted. "Possible, you are so beyond thinking you might like like him. You have it bad."

"Not helping," Kim said. "Can we move on to something else?"

"I heard that Big Bertha in Cell Block B has a nasty little case of toe fungus!" Amy offered.

Kim and Tiny both shuddered.

"So what's your hang-up about dating this guy? Other than that he's not golden like that other guy?"

"It's not just that. He's actually kind of cute," Kim said, finally giving voice to a long-ignored feeling. "He's, well, he's Ron."

"Sorry, I've been on the inside a while," Tiny said. "What does that mean?"

"He's … different."

"Different?"

"He has a naked mole rat," Amy said helpfully. "I mixed its genes with a real meanie once …"

"She serious?" Tiny asked.

"Welcome to my world," Kim said.

"Okay. So he has a weird pet. You've got a guy who's willing to share it with you and you aren't sure if you want to date him?"

"It's not that easy," Kim said. "He's not only different, he's my best friend."

"Sounds like a good place to start a relationship to me."

"But what if it doesn't work out?" Kim asked. "We've been tight forever. I can't imagine what it would be like if we weren't."

"Got some news for you, kid. You don't make your move, someone else will. Maybe it's this Tara chick. Maybe it's someone else. Either way, best friend takes a back seat to girlfriend every time. You don't do anything, you'll wind up being second banana to some other girl because you were worried about messing things up and guess what? You'll have messed them up anyway."

"I never thought of it that way," Kim said. "It just seems so awkward …"

"You two really do make a scrumptious couple," Amy added.

"You think?" Kim asked.

Amy nodded vigorously. "Yes, I—"

Amy never finished her observation, however, thanks to the explosion that rocked the cafeteria and sent dust and debris showering down on the inmates.

"It's about time," Tiny said as she shielded herself.

"You were expecting this?" Kim asked in surprise.

"We've been overdue for a supervillain breakout," Tiny explained as the air cleared, revealing the burnished bottom of a sleek flying saucer. Two recessed panels slid open and a device resembling a ray gun appeared.

"Maybe my honey bunny has come to my rescue!" Amy cried out gleefully.

Kim rolled her eyes, then saw the tip of the barrel begin to glow red "Take cover!" she called out, pushing Amy and Tiny out of the line of fire just as a beam lanced out. The three women appeared to be safe, but then a second beam was fired and this one stuck Kim. Enveloped in a brilliant aura, she was quickly drawn up into the belly of the waiting craft, which, once she was aboard, flew away.

VI.

Ron walked into the gym and took a seat in the stands. He watched glumly as he waited for Tara and the other cheerleaders to finish their routine. Seeing Bonnie atop the pyramid in Kim's place further depressed his spirits, which had already been brought low by the knowledge that he was going to have ask Tara for a rain check on their date.

Their practice completed, the girls, save Tara and Bonnie, broke for the locker room.

"Hi Ron!" the blonde said cheerfully.

"Hi, Tara," he replied awkwardly. "You, uh, looked good out there."

"She did, didn't she?" Bonnie said. "Of course, without your jailbird friend Possible stealing all of my best moves we all look better."

"Watch it, Bon-Bon," Ron cautioned.

"Or what? You'll sue me?" she shot back dismissively.

Ron considered Bonnie's gibe, then brightened. "You know what? I could probably get you using Yin v. Yang. Or, even better, Cockerel v. MacDonald Farms."

"You, like, wouldn't dare!"

"Wanna find out?" Ron countered, waggling his eyebrows in a way he was sure would aggravate the snarky cheerleader.

Bonnie's face began to twitch. "You, you … loser!"

"Uh, that's loser with a law school education and no reason not to use it," Ron said smugly.

"Aarrrgggh!" Bonnie stomped off in a rage.

"You really aren't going to sue her, are you?" a worried Tara asked.

"Nah," Ron said with a wave of his hand. "I was just playing her."

"You're a bad boy, Ron Stoppable," Tara said, threading her arm through his. "So, are you ready for our big date?"

"Yeah, about that …" he mumbled.

"Please don't tell me you have to go on one of those dangerous missions to save the world," Tara said with concern.

"No, no, nothing like that," Ron said. "Actually, I, uh, have to go to dinner."

"What?" the stunned blonde replied. "We're supposed to be going to dinner! And a movie!"

"I know. But now I have to go to dinner with the dean and some rich dude or the law school won't get its building and I won't get my diploma and Kim will grow old in jail and hate me forever!"

Tara sighed. "I should have known."

"What are you talking about?"

"Even when she's not here, Kim's getting in the way."

"I'm pretty sure KP's not behind this," Ron said defensively.

Tara rolled her eyes then began to walk away towards the girls' locker room.

"Where are you going?"

"Does it matter?" said Tara, who was miffed. "Have fun at your stupid dinner."

"Hey, maybe you could come with me!"

"Or maybe you can get Kim out on parole and she can go with you," Tara said as she stalked off.

Ron watched the locker room door slam shut behind the blonde, leaving him to ponder how even with an IQ as high as Wade's and a mastery of the entire Western legal tradition, girls still perplexed him. He stood alone in the empty gym for a few moments before he turned and left, wondering just what he'd done to so annoy Tara.

_To Be Continued …_


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks to Boris Yeltsin, campy, CajunBear73, Josh84, spectre666, Eddy13, Katsumara, Shrike176, screaming phoenix, noncynic, acosta perez jose ramiro, Nairobe, Mr. Wizard, Michael Howard, Danny-171984, Molloy, Quathis, and whitem for reviewing and everyone for reading.

Special thanks to campy for proofreading this chapter.

Leave a review and I'll send a response. I may even include a cake complete with file ...

KP © Disney; original characters © the author

* * *

I.

Kim was surprised by how quickly she was taken into the belly of the mysterious saucer – she'd been pulled up at such a high velocity that she actually lost one of her shoes. That, however, did not compare to the shock she experienced when she saw who had captured her.

"Junior?" she said, surprised to see the dim-witted, hair-gel obsessed heir to the Senior fortune.

"My Blue Fox!" he squealed in delight.

"What's the sitch?" she asked. "And why are you wearing a tuxedo?"

"You like my clothes? They were handmade for me by the finest tailors in Milan."

"I'm thrilled for you," Kim said dryly. "Now spill," she demanded.

"I have come to rescue you!"

"Rescue me?"

"Your Yellow Trout has broken his Blue Fox out of prison as a demonstration of his undying love for you."

"Junior, while the roses were sweet, Animology is so last semester."

"What is this semester thingie of which you speak?" he asked, perplexed.

Kim rolled her eyes. "Just bring me back, please and thank you."

"I do not understand …"

"And this is news how?" Kim grumbled.

"Please, refrain from the cutting, dismissive remarks until after we are married."

"Married?"

"Yes. I will take you back to our private island where we will be wed in an extravagant ceremony attended by pop stars and Hollywood movers and shakers and other A-list personalities."

"News flash, Junior: we are so not getting married. Not now, not ever, so you can take me back right now."

"Excuse me? Why would you not wish to leave that jail place?"

"Because I'm innocent."

"But if you are innocent you should not be in prison."

Kim sighed in frustration. "True, but this isn't the way for me to get out. This rescue of yours looks like such the jailbreak. Now bring me back so I can explain to the warden that this field trip wasn't my idea."

"No," Junior replied. "I am going to woo you, beginning with an elegant, romantic dinner," he said, gesturing to a table covered with white linen and set with fine china and silver. "Of course, you will have to change. The orange of your jumpsuit doesn't harmonize with your hair or the decor. I have a lovely selection of Sperlucci dresses for you."

"Junior, I am not changing," Kim said flatly.

"Yes you are," he said with surprising vehemence.

"No, I'm not," she said, her arms folded across her chest. "And I'm not having dinner with you."

"You will have dinner with me and you will be charmed by my witty bon bons and ballads of love."

"Junior, this all very sweet – in a ferociously weird way – but I really have to get back to jail."

Junior sighed melodramatically. "I am sorry it has come to this, my love," he said as he pulled a gun out from within his jacket and took aim at Kim, whose eyes opened wide.

"You so aren't going to shoot me," she said in disbelief.

"I do what I must in the name of love," he said, as he brought his left hand to his forehead, pulled the trigger, and shot Kim.

II.

In recent days Ron had been amazed at what having an IQ of 300 had enabled him to achieve. He'd completed law school, solved Fermat's Theorem, developed the rudiments of faster-than-light-speed travel, and—almost—unraveled the bizarre fascination the French had with Jerry Lewis. That said, he couldn't fathom Myron Meaner's fascination with …

"Pain King? His moves are so lame!" Ron said. "He's got nothing on my man Steel Toe."

Meaner snorted. "Young man, you may be a prodigy of legal learning, but your estimation of wrestling abilities is obviously suspect given your preference for that metal-footed poseur."

"Steel Toe rocks," Ron countered. "He's got the moves, he's got the 'tude, and he's got the headlock."

"Steel Toe is but a brute; Pain King is an inspired artist," Meaner declared. "Steel Toe lumbers while Pain King veritably dances about the ring."

"Dude, my guy has a real metal foot. Your guy wears a plastic hat."

"What? That's ridiculous. Everyone knows Pain King's crown is made of solid gold."

_Am I really sitting here, listening to this?_ thought Dean Lawless.

Ron snorted. "Not the one I saw him wearing."

"Excuse me? You've seen Pain King's crown?"

"Saw it during a mission KP and I went on," Ron explained with the pride of a fan who has encountered his heroes. "I was actually in the ring with both of them."

Meaner stared at Ron in wide-eyed wonder. "You've met GWA athletes?"

At the use of the words "GWA" and "athletes" in the same sentence, Dean Lawless, who'd been sipping sparkling water, almost sprayed her distinguished guest with her drink.

Ron, meanwhile, nodded. "Kim and I meet lots of interesting people. We met Pop Pop Porter once. MC Honey, too. We still haven't met Martin Smarty, though. Man, would I like to meet him. Did you know he got his start when he was ten selling stuff from a cart?"

"Fascinating," Meaner said, not in the least interested in tales of retail greatness when he could be discussing his favorite sport. "But back to Pain King. Do you think you could get me his autograph?"

"Well, I don't know if I can, but I'm sure Kim can. If she's willing to call in a favor, that is. I'll have to ask her when I see her."

"I'd be ever in your debt," Meaner said.

"'Sha," Ron said dismissively before he caught the eye of the dean. "Though there is something you could do …"

"Let me guess," Meaner said as he, too, looked at Lawless. "You want me to fund the new law school building."

"Well, that would be booyah-worthy. Just make sure to include a Bueno Nacho counter. You can't have the tortilla without the tort, after all."

Much to the dean's surprise, Meaner laughed heartily. "Tort. Tortilla. Good one. You want anything else, Counselor?" he inquired.

"Maybe you could use your pull to get me a reservation at _Chez Couteaux _tomorrow night?" Ron asked hopefully. "I'd kind of hoped to be on a date with this babelicous cheerleader tonight but I had to cancel and she's kind of miffed with me and—"

"Done and done …"

"Badical!" Ron enthused.

"… Though I have another request of my own to make."

"Badical withdrawn?" Ron said.

"I doubt it," Meaner responded. "Unless you have an aversion to being a panelist on my show next week."

"You want me to be on TV?" Ron said,

"That's right."

"Well then the Ronman has only two words to say: Ah-boo and a yah!"

III.

"Those diamonds are striking on you," Jimmy Ding, the Bling Bling King said smoothly, his hopes of selling a half million dollars in jewelry rising.

"Ya think?" Shego asked as she modeled the obscenely expensive necklace.

"Most definitely," he said unctuously as images of the new sports car he'd be buying came into focus.

"Then I'll take them," Shego replied.

"Excellent. And how will you be paying?" he asked, all but ready to run out to the car dealership.

"Paying? I'm not paying for anything. I said I'd be taking them," Shego said as she fired up her glow power. "You got any problem with that?"

"No," Jimmy gulped, his interest in a new vehicle suddenly gone. "I'm sure my insurance will cover the loss."

"Super," Shego said. "Then everybody's happy," she said as she walked to the door, waving her glowing hand. "Sayonara!"

She strode out the door, wondering what she'd do next. Then she had an idea. She hopped into the hovercar and headed for the pokey. Taunting an imprisoned Kim Possible would definitely be good for a few laughs. As she flew across town, she turned on the radio.

"… Labowski at the Middleton Penitentiary, where fallen teen hero Kim Possible made a dramatic break-out earlier today. Authorities—"

"Thanks a lot, Princess," Shego grumbled as she turned off the radio. "You couldn't wait until after I mocked you?"

IV.

"… Say that Miss Possible was assisted in her escape by a mysterious black flying saucer, which blew a hole through the ceiling and then extracted her using some kind of tractor beam."

"Oh this is too good," Ruben crowed as he watched the news on his office television. He put his feet on his desk, clasped his hands behind his head, and began to daydream about his swearing-in as District Attorney. "Between her busting out of the big house and my dopey cousin as her lawyer, this case is in the bag."

"… In related news," Labowski continued, "Henchco stock jumped 22 percent after Jack Hench, the company's CEO, announced that his company would be entering what he described as the 'exciting and rapidly growing correctional facility reconstruction field' …"

V.

Kim looked down in dismay at her jumpsuit, which was now covered with a rancid, slimy, malodorous substance. "Gorchy!"

"I suggest you retire behind that curtain and choose a gown."

Kim glared at Junior and growled. Then, reluctantly, she did as he demanded. A few minutes later she emerged wearing a pale blue evening gown.

Junior gasped, then he pulled out a guitar that he'd concealed, dropped to one knee and began to warble, "You are a vision of loveliness/Even though you kick my booty. You are beauty divine/Wooing you is my duty."

Kim cringed.

"You do not like my serenade?"

"Junior, what part of 'you and I have no future' and 'take me back to the prison now' don't you understand?"

"But you should be on your way to falling in love with me and my funky fresh singing moves!"

"So not happening," she said with a shrug.

"Then I will subject you to mind control when we reach Senior Island. I am sure that Father must have purchased some kind of brainwashing device …"

"I think not," Kim said.

"You will not frustrate my plans, Kim Possible," Junior insisted, petulantly turning his back on Kim. "This will be an affair to remember."

"Oh, I'll remember it," Kim muttered. "Like the time I had the stomach flu." Then she took advantage of Junior's carelessness to grab his arm and twist it behind his back, driving him to his knees.

"Ow!" Junior cried. "How could you?"

"I don't like being kidnapped," Kim said.

"You are so cruel!"

"Amp down the drama," Kim said. "All I've done is twist your arm."

"It is not my arm that I am talking about."

"Then what's the big?"

"My spiffy new threads. You are putting wrinkles into my perfectly pressed jacket."

Kim was about to succumb to her growing impatience with the billionaire man-child when a way out of her unwanted sitch came to mind. Much to Junior's surprise and delight, she placed her free hand atop his head.

"You've come to your senses!" he crowed. "You are going to run your fingers through my locks and whisper sweet nothings into my ears, are you not?"

"So not," she answered.

"Then what is going on?"

"You're going to fly us back to the prison or I'm going to mess up your hair."

"You wouldn't dare," Junior trembled.

"I can and I will. I'm Kim Possible and I can do anything."

"Prison has turned you into a hardened and heartless woman, my love," Junior said as he turned the hovercraft around and headed back towards the prison.

VI.

"What is it, Ron?" Tara asked frostily as she walked from the movie theater to the bus stop. "Need help saving Kim?"

"Look," he said into his phone, "I know you're majorly torqued at me for having to cancel our date but it was worth it!"

"I'm hanging up now," she said, wondering why she'd even taken his call.

"No! No! That's not what I meant," Ron panicked. "What I meant was, well, I'm going to be on TV."

"That's wonderful. Why don't you tell someone who cares?"

"But I want to tell you! Over dinner. Tomorrow. At _Chez Couteaux_."

"The really expensive restaurant that has a six month waiting list for a table?"

"And the most badical menu/coloring page options in town! So, you willing to give the Ronster another chance?"

"Okay," Tara said. "But only on one condition."

"You name it," Ron agreed, hoping that she wasn't going to ask him to stop being friends with Kim or take up some kind of wrong-sick monkey-related hobby.

"I get first pick of the crayons."

"Coolio," said a relieved and delighted Ron. "I'll finish with the bar exam by 3:00. Why don't I pick you up at, oh, 3:30?"

"Isn't that early for dinner?"

"Not if I want to be seen walking arm in arm through Middleton Park with a babelicious cheerleader on my arm!"

Tara grinned. "You think I'm babelicious?"

"Oh yeah. And the Ronster is an expert on babeliciousness."

"Really?" Tara said.

"Yep."

"Well, I wouldn't want Ron Stoppable to miss his moment of glory," Tara giggled. "I'll see you at 3:30."

VII.

Guards and prisoners alike scattered as the mysterious black saucer landed in the prison exercise yard. People watched from afar as a hatch in its underside opened and a gangway extended to the ground.

What happened next would be talked about for years. After all, it wasn't every day that people in formalwear appeared at the Big House.

"Ow! Ow!" Junior protested. "You are hurting me!"

"You so don't want to know what really being hurt by me is like," Kim growled as she pulled him along by his ear.

"What's going on here?" Earl said as he approached Kim and Junior.

"She has abducted me!" Junior wailed.

"I so did not," Kim shot back. "You abducted me."

"Okay, you two. Take a deep breath," said Merle as he joined his fellow guard. Junior took deep, exaggerated draughts of air while Kim rolled her eyes and numerous prisoners, including Tiny and DNAmy, gathered round. "Now would somebody like to tell me what's going on here?"

"Captain Animology thought he could woo me by breaking me out of jail," Kim said to the approving cooing of many female inmates.

"Is this true?" Merle asked.

"Yes," Junior said. "And how does my love repay my devotion? She puts creases into my expensive designer clothing!"

"Well, I think we can help you there," Merle said.

"You have a clothes press?" Junior asked hopefully.

"No. We have a jumpsuit for you. You're under arrest."

"You mean I must stay here?" Junior said.

"Yeah," Earl said.

"Goodie!" Junior replied much to everyone's surprise. "That will better enable me to continue my romantic quest!"

"Give it up, Junior," Kim said. "You. Me. Never."

"You will relent, my Blue Fox," Junior said as Merle and Earl led him away. "Of that I am sure. Now I will go off with these jailor men to my cell where I will compose a mournful song of love and the prison blues."

"Nice dress," Tiny said, earning a hostile look from Kim. "Hey, I was just saying."

"Well, don't," snapped the teen, who immediately regretted the tone she'd used with her friend. "Sorry for harshing on you," she apologized. "This whole sitch is just becoming ferociously weirder by the minute."

"Now there's an understatement," Tiny said sympathetically. "It's not often you find yourself in prison for trying to stop a villain, learn the guy you thought you liked is going out with your rival, that the guy you didn't know you liked is going out with someone else, and that the guy you don't like wants to go out with you so much he busts you out of jail."

"I think it's so romantically complicated," DNAmy sighed.

"It's complicated all right," Kim said. "And I just know that Ron's cousin is going to find a way to twist Junior's little stunt against me. At least I won't have to worry about like liking my best friend."

"What are you talking about?" Tiny asked. "You give up on Stoppable or are you suddenly sweet on Junior?"

"As if," Kim snorted. "It's just that Ron and Tara will have grandchildren by the time I get out of here."

"Actually, we're all getting out of here tomorrow," Amy trilled.

"What are you talking about?" Kim asked. "I'm so not interested in another prison break."

"She's talking about leaf patrol," Tiny answered.

"Leaf patrol?"

"We're going to clean up Middleton Park tomorrow afternoon."

_TBC …

* * *

_Balloting for the 2008 Fannie Awards is now underway. If you have voted for one of my stories or characters, thank you. If you have not but would like to, send an email to _zaratan4 _by January 31, 2009.

While I have removed myself from consideration for Best Writer, having already won this category in the 2005 edition of the Fannies, there are two authors on this site who are especially deserving of your consideration: **Mr. Wizard** and **Molloy**.

To learn about all of the voting categories, visit the Fannie Award voting thread in Zaratan's forum.


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks to captainkodak1, spectre666, Boris Yeltsin, Mr. Wizard, Danny-17984, Josh84, CajunBear73, screaming phoenix, Eddy13, Quathis, daywalkr82, campy, acosta perez jose ramiro, Katsumara, noncynic, TexasDad, whitem, Michael Howard, Joe Stoppinghem, and AngusH for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Special thanks to campy for proofreading this chapter.

As always, leave a review and I'll send you a response.

KP © Disney. All original characters © the author.

* * *

I.

"So how's Project Infinite Stupidity coming along?" Shego asked as she wandered into Drakken's lab, shaking her head as she surveyed the carnage. Scores of Captain Constellation action figures, all of which had been modified to resemble Dementor and now had frizzy hair standing on end, littered her employer's workspace.

"I've encountered some minor difficulties," Drakken grudgingly conceded as he fiddled with his laser. "Nothing that a super genius of my caliber won't be able to resolve in short order, however."

"Store run out of dollies?" Shego sniped as she picked up one of the abused toys.

"Very funny," Drakken snapped. "This is a highly complex plan the successful consummation of which depends upon the precise interaction of multiple variables."

"Have you tried ordering some more GI Duhs from eBid?" she asked as she tossed the hapless action figure at her boss.

"Yes," Drakken said as he dodged the incoming projectile. "And they, along with the toy store at the mall, are sold out. But to be honest, I need to go big time in my testing. You wouldn't want to go out and kidnap someone for me, would you?"

"Why not use one of the henchmen?" she asked.

Drakken pulled a face. "Shego, this is science we're talking about, not vaudeville."

"You could sure fool me," she muttered before she turned to leave the lab.

"Does this mean you won't abduct someone for me?"

"Sorry," she said as she approached the door, "but I've got better things to do with my time."

II.

"I'm so excited!" DNAmy cooed. "We're going to the park!"

"I'm thrilled," Kim said without emotion, her head resting against the window.

"Okay, what's eating you, kid?" Tiny asked. "You've been a wet blanket ever since we left the Big House."

Kim grimaced. "Do you know where this trip is going?"

"Middleton Park," Tiny said.

"Humiliation Nation!" Kim countered with emotion. "If anybody from school sees me, it's going to be so the drama."

"Why don't we fall off that bridge when we get to it?" Tiny suggested. "It's not often we get out, so we should make the most of it."

Kim sighed. "I guess you're right."

"Of course she is," DNAmy trilled. "Now let's have a sing-a-long! Over hill, over dale …"

III.

"So, how did your test go?' Tara asked as Ron piloted his scooter along Middleton's main thoroughfare.

"Badical!" he replied. "I get the results on Monday, but there is no doubt that the Rondo aced the bar exam."

"I'm so proud of you!" Tara squealed as they approached a traffic light, which was yellow and turning red. As Ron brought the scooter to a stop, she removed her hands from his shoulders and wrapped them around his middle.

"I'm all about the red lights!" he said, earning a giggle from Tara, who continued to embrace him.

IV.

"… While the caissons go rolling along …" DNAmy continued to sing with gusto. While the mad geneticist continued to serenade her fellow inmates, the prison transport bus approached a red light and came to a stop. "Oh, look!" she said. "Isn't that sweet!"

Tiny and Kim looked out the window.

Kim's eyes grew large as saucers. Then she began to twitch.

Tiny looked from her friend to the scooter beside the bus, where an attractive young woman was hugging a goofy-looking young man, and back to her friend. "Let me guess," she began to say. "That's—"

"That's my Ron!" Kim sputtered.

"Not anymore," another inmate chuckled, immediately regretting her observation when Kim and Tiny both shot her death glares. "Shutting up here …" the woman mumbled.

V.

Shego hadn't a clue as to what to do with her time. She didn't feel like boosting anything, and she wasn't in the mood to soak up rays on her tanning bed. Since it was a beautiful spring afternoon, she ultimately decided to take Drakken's flying car out for a spin and see what turned up.

VI.

The bus drove into the park, rumbled to a stop, and disgorged its passengers.

"Okay, girls, here's the deal," announced one of the guards, an imposing woman named Thelma who bore an uncanny resemblance to Steve Barkin. "You're each getting a litter stick and a bag. You'll work in teams but don't get any ideas. A guard will be with you at all times. Any questions?"

"Do we have to pick up icky stuff like gum?" DNAmy asked.

"If it's on the ground," Thelma's colleague, an equally imposing woman named Selma, who also bore an uncanny resemblance to Middleton High's most bellicose teacher, explained, "pick it up. Now let's get to work, people!"

VII.

"Sorry 'bout last night," Ron said as he and Tara strolled along a path.

"It's all right," Tara replied. "Sorry I was so angry with you about having to cancel our movie date."

"'Sha," Ron said. "All water off my back."

"I think you mean under the bridge," Tara giggled.

"That too," Ron said with a huge, disarming grin as he led his date to a bench. The two teens sat down. Ron suddenly grew nervous, worried he would ruin what he sensed could be a special moment with Tara. Sensing her date's discomfort, she smiled at him, first innocently, then in a manner that made him empathize with antelopes that realized they'd just been spotted by lions. "So …" he squeaked as she puckered her lips.

Ron's heart began to race and his hands began to get clammy. He gulped. Then, telling himself he'd regularly faced death rays and goons with Kim, not to mention ate Cafeteria Lady's cooking five times every week, he summoned his courage and leaned in to kiss Tara.

VIII.

"Let me go!" Kim demanded as Tiny tightened her headlock.

"Don't think so, kid," the older woman replied. "This is for your own good."

"You are so going to be busted!" Kim said.

"Says the girl who was about to earn a trip to Supermax," Tiny said.

"Okay, what's going on here?" Thelma asked as she brushed by DNAmy, who'd been trying to screen Tiny and Kim from the guard.

"Possible here was about to slap her smooching sidekick six ways to Sunday," Tiny explained.

"So wasn't," Kim insisted.

"Nice alliteration," Thelma offered. "But what are you talking about?"

Tiny hooked a finger over her shoulder and over some bushes. There, on a bench were two teens. The girl and the boy were clearly getting ready to smack lips.

"Your boyfriend cheating on you, Possible?" Thelma asked sympathetically.

"He's not my boyfriend," Kim said, her anger with Ron and Tara rising.

"But she wishes he were," Amy added helpfully.

"Huh," Thelma said. Then she looked up. "Now what?"

IX.

"Oh, this should be good," Shego said as she spied Ron and Tara about to lock lips. She piloted the hovercar so it was hovering just above and to the side of the two teens.

"Yo, Sidekick!" she called out.

X.

"Aw, man," Ron whined, his lips just millimeters from Tara's, when he heard a most unwanted voice call his name.

An annoyed Tara looked up to see the smirking visage of Shego staring down at them. "Who are you?"

"Tara, meet Shego," a deflated Ron said. "Shego, meet Tara."

"Nice to meet you. Not," Shego gibed. "So, Stoppable, Kimmie know you're trying to smack lips with Blondie while she's in the slammer?"

"What Ron does with my lips is none of Kim's business!" Tara said.

Shego snorted while Kim, unbeknownst to Ron, Tara and Shego, seethed. "Ten bucks says Princess would want to give you a kung fu demonstration if she found out."

"Kim's my best bud," Ron said. "She'd be all about my getting some lip action."

Shego rolled her eyes. "You're as dense as Doctor D," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"Stoppable, as far as Kimmie's concerned, you're hers."

"Nah," Ron said with a dismissive wave of the hand. "You know, back when I was crushing on Zita and I was worried that she'd see me and Kim coming out of the movies and think we were a couple, she said, 'You and me? On a date?' Man, I never really thought about it, but that was kind of harsh."

XI.

"Ouch," Tiny cringed. "You really said that?"

Kim blushed. "I, well, you see … ugh."

"And they say I'm a villain!" DNAmy said in a disappointed tone.

"Look, Ron and I have been BFFs since pre-K," the teen said defensively. "Seeing him as BF material and not just as my BF is a ferociously big deal."

"Kid, I'm not sure what you're talking about," Tiny said. "But you've really got your work cut out for you if you want a shot at that boy."

"Understatement much?" Kim said miserably.

"Hey, none of that!" Thelma barked as she thrust her face to within inches of Kim's. "None of my prisoners is giving up on a guy just because she said something boneheaded and has no access to him outside of visiting hours, not when her motto is supposedly 'I can do anything'. Do I make myself clear?"

Kim, her determination renewed, smiled with confidence. "So clear."

"That's good," Tiny said. "Because it looks like he's going to need your help."

XII.

"Just because Princess doesn't want to date you – and I can't imagine why she would – that doesn't mean she doesn't see 'Property of Kimmie' stamped on your dopey forehead."

"Hey, you don't have to get personal," Ron protested.

"Besides," Tara added, "he's mine!"

"Not anymore," Shego said as she reached over the rim of the hovercar and grabbed Ron's shirt. "Drakken needs a test dummy and Stoppable should do just fine."

"Hey, you're jacking my threads!" Ron complained.

"That's not the only thing I'm jacking, Sidekick," she said as she began to pull him into the flying car.

"Let go of him," Tara said as she grabbed onto Ron's right leg. Much to her dismay, she soon found herself rising off the ground.

XIII.

"Ron!" Kim yelled as she saw what was happening.

Thelma surveyed the scene and made a snap decision. "Possible, you promise to come back once you've saved him?"

"Hello! I may be in jail but I'm still one of the good guys!"

"Just checking," Thelma said before she bellowed, "Then move out!"

Kim bolted in Ron's direction, vaulting over the bushes with the grace of an Olympian.

"KP?" he said in surprise when he turned to see his best friend headed in his direction.

"Oh, great," Shego said when she saw Kim. "Can't she just rot in jail?"

Tara looked down in annoyance. "I've got this under control, Kim. Go back to prison!"

"Not until I save Ron!" she snapped as she did a hand spring that launched her skywards, allowing her to grab onto Tara's legs. Much to her frustration, the blonde began to kick.

"Tara, what are you doing?" Kim asked as she struggled to maintain her grip.

"Stopping you from ruining my date!" she replied as she kicked more vigorously.

"That's so not important right now," Kim said.

"Maybe not to you," Tara sniped. "But some of us actually want to go on a date with Ron."

Shego peered over the edge of the hovercar. "You know, this is really interesting – well, actually, it's not – but I think it's time for you to go splat, Kimmie," she said before she banked the craft hard.

"Not helping," Kim grumbled as she felt herself losing her grip on Tara. The auburn-haired teen knew she had to act quickly. "Ron, Tara, hold on tight!" she called out before, much to Tara's surprise, she swung back, then forward, gaining the momentum she needed to launch herself upwards in a barrel flip. Taking advantage of the flying car's angle, she landed inside the vehicle's open cockpit.

"Orange really isn't your color, Princess," Shego snarled as Kim gracefully touched down in front of her. "Then again, what is?"

"You're the last one to be giving out fashion advice," Kim replied as she took up a defensive stance.

"Uh, sidekick and date in trouble!" Ron said as he desperately held on to the lip of the hovercar.

"You're not the only ones who're going to be in trouble," Shego said as she fired up her glow power and lashed out at Kim, who blocked her attack.

Shego followed her strike up by spinning round and sending a kick towards Kim, who jumped out of the way and then grabbed her opponent's leg. The teen pulled, causing the older woman to lose her balance.

"Sidekick and date still in trouble!" Ron called out as the flying car began to drift towards the pond at the heart of Middleton Park.

"Hold on, Ron," Kim said as readied herself for Shego's next attack.

"You're going down, Princess," Shego snarled.

"I so don't think so," Kim said with confidence.

Shego glared at Kim, then launched herself into a triple somersault, coming down behind the teen. Kim, though, was ready: as soon as Shego landed, she turned on her heel and sent a spin kick into her foe's stomach, sending the green-hued villainess stumbling backwards and over the side of the flying car. What Kim didn't anticipate was Shego's bumping the control panel along the way, inadvertently deactivating the craft's stabilizers, which caused the hover car to lurch violently.

"KP!" Ron cried out.

Kim turned to see her best friend rapidly losing his grip on the car. "Ron!" she called out before she grabbed his arm and began to pull him, and, she hoped, Tara, in. He was almost over the side, when the last thing he wanted to happen, happened: his belt failed and his trousers fell down.

Surprised by her date's pants suddenly falling on her head, Tara lost her grip on his legs, and fell.

Kim quickly pulled Ron into the hovercraft. "Thanks, Kim," he said. "Uh, where's Tara?"

She grimaced. "Down there," she said as they peered over the side to see that they were now over the pond, where Thelma, Selma, and Tiny had apprehended a very wet Shego. Then they saw a scowling blonde sitting in the shallows from which Shego had just been extracted.

"Aw man," he groaned. "Tara is so going to kill me."

"Ron, it's not your fault," Kim said sympathetically as she rested her hand on his shoulder.

"Uh, KP," he said.

"Yes?"

"Your hand," he noted. "Don't want Tara to get the wrong idea."

"About what?"

"Us. I know you think the idea of us dating is kooky but Tara's kind of sensitive about, uh, you and me."

Kim was about to tell Ron to rein in his imagination when she had a vivid flashback to the dismissive remark on just that subject that she made to him at the movie theatre box office, then to what Shego had said a short while before. "Actually, I can see how she could feel that way about us," she said as she withdrew her hand. "Sorry."

"'Sha, don't worry," he said breezily, oblivious to the wistful expression on his best friend's face.

Moments later, Kim landed the hover car and Ron hopped over the side.

"Ron, there's something I need to tell you," she said, a note of urgency in her voice as she saw Tara approaching.

He turned to look back at his friend, "Sure, KP. What is it?"

"Um ..."

Much to her chagrin, Kim Possible, the girl who faced down giant destructo-bots, who dodged death rays with aplomb, who could free-fall for thousands of feet, froze when she was about to tell her best friend and sidekick that she like liked him.

"You okay, Kim?" he asked.

"Spankin'," she lied as Tara joined Ron. "After all, it's Pizza Night at the prison."

"Coolio!" he enthused as the blonde cheerleader took his elbow and began to lead him away. "Have a slice for me and keep it real, KP."

"Will do," she said softly as she watched Ron and Tara climb onto his scooter and drive off.

_To Be Continued … _


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks to Boris Yeltsin, Mr. Wizard, erayd, campy, Josh84, screaming phoenix, Eddy13, Louis Mielke, Quathis, CajunBear73, Acosta perez jose Ramiro, freewheeler26, daywalkr82, Michael Howard, Katsumara, Joe Stopphinghem, Shrike176, Danny-171984, and Molloy for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

My thanks to Molloy, this week's special guest beta and proofreader.

As always, leave a review and I'll send you a reply.

KP © Disney. All original characters © the author.

* * *

I.

"I'll take the loud helmeted guy in the middle triangle," the contestant said.

"Professor Dementor," the genial game show host asked, "for three hundred dollars, what form of air transport was named after a German nobleman?"

"Zat would be ZE ZEPPELIN!"

"And zat would be correct!" the host said with a self-satisfied grin.

"I am on FIRE!" the Teutonic scientist crowed.

"But your helmet is so passé," Guy of Evil Eye fame said cattily.

"Und vhat is wrong mit ze helmet?" Dementor demanded. "It iz ze perfectly GOOD HELMET! I vill haf you know zat it accessorizes mit both ze lab coat and ze housecoat! It is—"

"Time for a word from our sponsor, Pop Pop Porter's Mini Corn Dogs," the host interjected. "We'll be right back with more Celebrity Triangles after this commercial break."

II.

"So, uh, I know we haven't had much luck with this whole date thing, but you want to go to Mister Fudgie's tomorrow?" Ron asked.

"You sure Kim won't mind?" Tara said, trying to sound playful, but unable to hide the edge to her voice.

"Why would Kim mind?" Ron replied, clueless about women despite his Zaruda-enhanced IQ and newly-minted law school diploma.

Tara sighed, adjusting the telephone as she continued to paint her nails. "Because that green woman is right. Kim thinks you're hers. Even if you're not dating, she acts like you are."

"Tara, Tara, Tara, that's just Shego messing with you. Trust me, Kim doesn't think of me that way," Ron said, not sharing his disappointment with the blonde. Until recently, he had never thought of Kim in anything other than best friend terms. Then Tara broached the subject and Ron found himself wondering about the possibility – only to remember Kim's dismissive comment at the movie theater. "I'm sure she's cool with me dating you," he said.

"I don't know, Ron," Tara responded. "I've seen the way she looks at you. I think she's jealous."

"Kim? Jealous? Nah."

His reply was greeted with skeptical silence.

Ron, sensing his opportunity to go on a date with Tara was slipping away, knew he had to find some way to set her mind at ease. And since the truth wasn't working, there was only one alternative he could think of despite having an IQ of 300. He was about to speak when his conscience kicked in_._Before he could say anything, a small voice piped up from his shoulder. "Dude, what you're about to do is wrong."

Ron wasn't sure who had spoken, but he was sure it wasn't Rufus.

"Kim's your best friend," whispered a tiny, haloed Ron, who was perched on his right shoulder. "Besides, don't you remember what happened when you lied about her and Brick in the school paper?"

Before Ron could be swayed by the argument of his better angel, he felt something poke into his other shoulder: he looked to his left and saw a horned, pitchfork-wielding Diablo Ron. "You were popular, that's what happened," the devil said as he prodded the tow-headed teen.

"But in the end he disappointed Kim," Angel Ron countered.

"And he admitted he was wrong and what did that get him? A life lesson," Diablo Ron shot back contemptuously. Then he leaned into Ron's face. "Listen to him and you can kiss some serious lip smacking goodbye!"

Ron looked back and forth. "This is seriously whacked," he observed.

"What is?" Tara asked.

"Uh, the idea that KP would be jealous," Ron responded. He paused, then said, "She's, uh, already seeing someone."

Diablo Ron gave him a big thumbs-up while Angel Ron just shook his head and mouthed the words, "You are so dead." Then they both disappeared.

"Really?" Tara replied hopefully.

"Yeah. His name's Junior. He's really rich, not as smart as Brick, but his heart's in the right place even if he spends too much time with his hair care products."

"How come I've never met him?"

"You know how these superrich dudes are. All secretive. He actually lives on a private island with his dad."

"Do you think it's serious?"

"Well, he did try to break her out of prison the other day."

"That was her BF?"

"Uh, yeah," Ron said.

He knew what he was doing was wrong.

"That's so romantic," Tara cooed.

"Yeah, I guess it is," Ron said, setting aside any moral qualms about his actions. "So, will the Rondo be eating ice cream alone tomorrow or will he be accompanied by the bon-diggity Tara?"

Tara giggled. "The bon-diggity Tara would love to go to Mister Fudgie's tomorrow, but I can't. Bonnie and I are going shopping," she said. "I could go Monday, after school, though."

"Badical!" Ron said before he added, "As long as Mister B doesn't give me detention."

Tara giggled.

"Hey!" he protested. "Barkin's had it out for me since ninth grade. He's convinced I looked at him funny."

"Well, then, you'd just better not look at him," she suggested.

"Easier said than done," Ron said. "He's everywhere. Do you know that I have him for every class except Interpretive Dance?"

"You're taking Interpretive Dance?" Tara said.

"I am," Ron said defensively. "And I'll have you know Interpretive Dance is manly."

Tara snorted.

"Okay, every other elective was already filled," Ron quickly conceded. "So, you, me, Mister Fudgie's after school."

"It's a date," Tara agreed. "And don't forget your leotard."

"Oh, how I rue the day I had to sign up for that elective …"

III.

"You okay?" Monique asked, concerned about her friend on the other side of the Plexiglas. "People aren't giving you a hard time because you're a hero, are they?"

"Not as much as expected. I've even made some friends, though there is Shego. We've never gotten along and I'm sure she's royally tweaked because she was assigned my old bunkmate."

"She bad news?"

"Freaky bad news. So, what's the 411 on school?" Kim asked.

"Miss Goddard was involved in some kind of accident at Smarty Mart involving a sick yak and an inflatable Zodiac boat. Word is, it wasn't pretty."

"And Ron wonders why I don't like shopping there," Kim said with a roll of the eyes.

"She'll be out for the rest of the year," Monique continued. "Mister Barkin's teaching the interpretive dance class."

"That is so many flavors of wrong."

"And you haven't even had to see him in a leotard," Monique said with a shudder.

Kim smirked. "I guess there are benefits to being in jail."

Monique chuckled. Then she looked conspiratorially at her friend. "So, spill, girl."

"Spill? About what?"

"Your new BF."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't you be playing games with me, Kim. And here I was thinking you were all about Josh."

"Okay, you've lost me and you're not even speaking in Moniquespeak."

"Who's Junior?" Monique demanded.

Kim groaned. "Let me guess. You heard about his attempt to break me out of prison on the news?"

"No, I heard about it from Tara when she and Bonnie came into Club B this afternoon scoping out the latest fashions – you just have to see the new spring line!"

"Do the capris come in prison orange?' Kim asked sardonically.

"Oops. Sorry."

"Don't worry. It's no big," Kim said with a wave of her hand. "So, back to my supposed boyfriend sitch."

"Well, according to Tara, your NBF—"

"NBF?"

"New boyfriend."

"Junior is so not my boyfriend."

"Then why'd Tara say Ron said he was?"

"What?" Kim exploded.

"TADB, girlfriend."

Kim glowered.

"Sorry, take a deep breath."

Though Kim complied, she was clenching her hands in a way that left Monique wondering whether her friend might be capable of bending steel bars.

"You want me to continue?" she asked.

"Please and thank you," Kim replied through gritted teeth.

"Bonnie's been ragging Tara 24/7 about Ron, saying stuff like he was your lapdog…"

Kim, despite her anger, cringed.

"… And that she'd better get used to being the third wheel if she insisted on dating him."

"And Tara didn't like that," Kim said, eliciting a nod from Monique. "I don't know why she's still friends with Bonnie."

"You and me, both," Monique agreed. "Anyway, when they came into the store, Tara was all smiles and Bonnie had that look she wears whenever she's been proven wrong about something or doesn't get her way."

Kim smiled knowingly, all too familiar with the sour facial expression her friend was describing.

"When I asked them what's up, Tara said that Ron had told her that you and Junior were an item …"

"Which meant," Kim interjected, "she could stop worrying about me getting in the way of her dating Ron."

"Wait a minute. You're telling me that Ron made up that whole Junior thing just to make sure he could go out with Tara?"

"Mm hmm," Kim answered. "He is so busted."

"I didn't know the boy had it in him," Monique said admiringly. Seeing her friend's dark countenance, she added, "Hey, just because I'm impressed, doesn't mean I'm down with what he did. You want any help busting him, you let me know."

"Thanks, Mon," Kim said. "Actually, there's something you can do …"

IV.

The old-fashioned wall-mounted phone in the high school corridor rang. Warily, the janitor picked up the receiver, still skittish after Kim Possible had appeared in a blaze of light the last time he answered a call.

"Hi, may I speak to Ron Stoppable?" a chipper voice asked.

"Uh, sure," the janitor said. "It may be a moment, though. I have to find him."

"No problem," the caller said.

Fortunately for all involved, Ron came sauntering by

"It's for you," the janitor said as he handed the teen the receiver. "By the way, don't you have a cell phone?"

Ron reddened. "I wish. Dad thinks they're just a passing fad."

The janitor shook his head sympathetically, then walked away.

"Hola, Ron Stoppable," the tow-headed teen said as he answered the call.

"Ron, Hank Perkins, here."

"Dude, how's it hanging?"

"It's hanging well. I just got a call from the judge. He wants to see us in his chambers at noon."

"Lunch time. The Rondo will be there," Ron said, anticipating a stop at the Bueno Nacho drive-thru, which was a far more appealing prospect than yet another encounter with Cafeteria Lady and her malignant mystery meat. He hung up the receiver and headed to his next class, lost in visions of Tex-Mex gustatory goodness. He was sauntering down the hall, dreaming of chimeritos, when he caught sight of a clock, saw that he was running late and broke into a trot. He turned a corner and plowed straight into Mister Barkin.

"Stoppable!" the teacher bellowed

"Mister B!" Ron yelped.

"How many times have I told you? No running in the halls! Just because you have some fancy pants law degree, you think you can violate school policy?"

"No! I didn't want to miss class, that's all!"

"A likely story, slacker!" Barkin said.

"Slacker?" Ron responded. "Mr. Barkin, I just got a law degree in three days!"

"Tell it to someone who cares," Barkin snapped. "I'll see you in detention after school."

"But … but … but …" Ron stumbled as his dream of after-school fun with Tara began to fade.

"No buts! You. Me. Big Mike and Vinny in Room 13. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yeah," Ron said.

"Good," Barkin said, a satisfied smile on his face. "Now move it!"

Ron sighed, and trudged off to class, wondering if he would ever get to go on a date with Tara.

V.

"Ugh, don't you have something better to do?" Shego, who was stretched out on a chaise lounge, asked as she looked up from the latest issue of _Villain's Digest_.

"I don't know what you're up to Shego, but you won't get away with it," Kim said, her hands on her hips and a no-nonsense look on her face.

"You know, Princess, the whole teen hero thing isn't very impressive when you're wearing orange and on the inside. Not that I was impressed when you were wearing your teeny bopper uniform on the outside," she said snidely as she adjusted her sunglasses and returned to her reading.

"And you of all people are offering fashion critiques why?" Kim replied in an equally sharp tone. "So, what's this week's plot? Help Drakken brainwash the inmates so he has an army of hardened criminals at his disposal?"

"You have your brain swapped with your dopey sidekick again?" Shego asked incredulously.

"You've been here since Saturday," Kim countered. "Two whole days and you still haven't tried to escape. You could have been on your way before they assigned you your cell. You're up to no good and I want to know what it is."

"Okay, Kimmie," Shego said as she laid down her reading. "Since you and I are now doing time together, I'll let you in on a secret."

"I knew you were up to something!" Kim declared triumphantly.

"Yeah, I'm up to keeping my sanity, though sharing a cell with Adrena Freaky Lynn is making that kind of hard."

"Excuse me?" a confused Kim responded.

"Drakken's driving me nuts with his latest lame-o take-over-the-world plan. As long as I'm in here, I don't have to listen to him rant. Now move it," she snapped as she returned to her magazine. "You're blocking the sun."

VI.

Ron ran up the stairs of the courthouse, down the corridor, and into the reception area of Judge Harry Mint's chambers, just in time to see a supremely satisfied Reuben and a far less pleased Hank emerge, followed by the judge himself, who was dressed as if he was ready to shoot a round of golf.

"Uh, am I missing something?" Ron asked.

"Just our meeting," Hank said glumly.

"But I thought you said we were meeting at noon!"

"Sorry, but I was able to get an earlier tee time. They can fill you in," Mint said as he breezed past Ron, Hank, and Rueben and out the door. "See you gentlemen later this week."

"Why do I have a feeling that he's not talking about a foursome at his club," Ron mused.

Reuben laughed harshly, then slapped him on the back. "You're too much, Cousin. See you in court." Then he too, exited, leaving Ron and Hank alone.

"Okay, what's going on?" Ron asked.

"Here's the sitch, as our client might say," he answered with a self-indulgent chuckle. "Judge Mint has scheduled the trial to begin on Thursday."

"Uh, I may be new to the whole lawyer biz, but don't they usually give us more time to get ready?"

"Normally, they do. But the judge said he's worried about the enormous publicity this case is generating. Word on the street is that Dementor is about to sign a contract to be on _Dancing With the B List Celebrities_ next year."

"Dementor doing the cha cha? Sick and wrong!"

"Exactly. That's why need to get to work finalizing Miss Possible's defense."

"Fear not, Hank. I've got my head in the game. I'm ready for anything."

"Good. Why don't you go brief Miss Possible on this latest development while I go back to the firm and begin to pull together the materials we'll need for the case."

"Will do," Ron said brightly. Then his face fell.

"What?" Hank asked.

"I've got detention and, and, oh man, Tara is so going to kill me …"

"Who's Tara?"

"Only this totally babelicous cheerleader who I keep canceling on."

"But I thought you and Miss Possible were an item?"

"Uh, dude, KP's my best bud. And, admittedly, she's pretty and she's smart. But she's all about guys like Josh Mankey, not Ron Stoppable."

"Oh, I see," Hank said sympathetically. "Well, why don't I brief Miss Possible while you see Tara?"

"You sure?" Ron said.

"Yes. But meet me at the office as soon as you can. Your cousin's going to be prepared and we need to be, too."

VII.

"Where's Ron?" Kim asked as she sat down on her side of the Plexiglas divider. While she was majorly tweaked with him for lying about her supposedly dating Junior, she was still disappointed to see he wasn't with Hank.

"He had another engagement," Hank answered as he withdrew a legal pad and pencil from his briefcase.

"Let me guess," she said sourly. "Hot date with Tara."

"I believe he also mentioned something about detention."

Kim rolled her eyes. "So, what's the sitch?"

"Your trial is scheduled to begin on Thursday."

"Excuse me?"

Hank explained the judge's reasoning for setting such a surprisingly early date.

Kim listened attentively. Then she exploded. "And my so-called best friend and lawyer is on a date and not here why? What was he thinking? Oh, wait, this is Ron! He doesn't think …"

Hank sat quietly and listened as his client ranted. When she was done, he tried to calm her.

He wasn't particularly successful.

VIII.

Ron jumped off his scooter and ran into Mister Fudgie's. He immediately spotted Tara – and with her, Bonnie. He didn't need a Wade-level IQ to know something was wrong.

"Hey, T, Bon-Bon, what's up?" he said nervously as Tara glared at him while Bonnie watched with manifest disgust.

"Kim's not dating Junior," Tara said coldly.

"Uh, yeah, well about that, maybe I misspoke …" he said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"You lied to me!" Tara said.

"Admittedly, not the best foundation for a relationship, but I didn't lie to you, I lied for you!"

"Puh-leeze," Bonnie sniffed.

"It's true!" Ron said, looking at Tara. "I know how you feel about KP and me being best buds and …"

"If I asked you to stop hanging with Kim, would you?"

"What?" he said.

"You heard me," Tara said. Then her features softened. "I don't want to be the third wheel, Ron. You're a nice guy and I'd like to date you…"

"Thanks," he said. "But there's a grande-sized 'but,' coming, isn't there?"

Tara bit her lip and looked away. Bonnie got up and poked Ron in the chest. "For whatever reason," the brunette said, "Tara likes you, Stoppable. And even though it will like totally kill her reputation and reflect poorly on the Cheer Squad, she wants to go out with you. She does not, however, want to go out with you and Possible."

"Okay, you've lost me," Ron said.

"Why am I not surprised?" Bonnie snarked.

"Bonnie, please," Tara said as she joined them. "Ron, Kim's too big a part of your life. You two go on missions, you hang out together all the time, you're doing this lawyer thing for her. You're sweet and funny and cute, but if I go out with someone, I want to be the most important girl in his life, not the second most. And as long as you and Kim are tight, that's the best I can hope for."

"But, but," Ron stammered.

"I'm sorry," a disappointed but resolute Tara said, as she walked out the door, trailing a contemptuous Bonnie behind her.

"Man, this tanks," Ron said to himself. "I didn't even know it was possible to be dumped before the first date …"

_To Be Continued …_


	11. Chapter 11

My thanks to Boris Yeltsin, neithan, spectre666, Mr. Wizard, Katsumara, CajunBear73, Shrike176, Quathis, Eddy13, screaming phoenix, Michael Howard, Danny-171984, acosta perez jose ramiro, Aeetos, noncynic, campy, and Molloy for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

As always, leave a review and I'll send a response.

My thanks also to campy for proofreading this chapter.

KP © Disney; original characters © the author

* * *

I.

"You are so flawed," said Kim, who was sitting cross-legged on her bunk.

"Am not!" DNAmy protested. "The Otterpottamous™ was adorable!"

"So not," Kim replied. "Now the Bunnyroo™ was adorable."

"Do you have one?"

"No," Kim answered wistfully. "Just a Dinophant™, Rhinobear™ and, of course, Pandaroo™."

"Super star edition?" Amy asked.

"No, just the regular kind but he's ferociously cute. I've had him forever. So," Kim asked eagerly, "When you were president of the Cuddlers Club® did you ever get to see the Zebrador Retriever™?"

"Not only did I see one, I touched one, too!"

"No way!" an excited Kim exclaimed.

"Uh huh!"

"What was it like?" she asked in reverential tones.

"Plush heaven!"

"Ooooo!" Kim cooed. "You are so lucky."

"Not as lucky as you," Amy replied sadly. "You get to see your honey-bunny, even if he doesn't know he's your honey-bunny, all the time. Mine won't even talk to me."

The plush-obsessed geneticist stopped when she saw the sour expression on her new cellmate's face. "That frown says something has you down."

"I'd rather not talk about it," Kim mumbled, not wanting to talk about her evermore-confusing Ron sitch.

"I bet you'd tell Tiny," Amy said tetchily. "You tell her everything."

"That's so not true," Kim replied with a roll of the eyes.

"Is too," Amy countered petulantly. "You like her more than you like me," she added before she turned her back on Kim and pouted.

Kim sighed, fell back onto her pillow, and looked at the ceiling of her cell. "I so don't need this right now."

II.

Jack Hench reclined in his leather chair and grinned with satisfaction as he contemplated the very positive impact Kim Possible's long-term incarceration would have on the bottom line. Without the meddling teen constantly apprehending his clients, he'd have more clients to whom he could sell more destructive (and expensive) gizmos and supply more highly trained (or at least costly) henchmen than ever before to the Evil Community.

And all it would take was one phone call, one he usually dreaded making but this time anticipated with relish.

III.

Hank lost no time picking up the receiver when he saw the ID of his caller: I. Will Fleesum, the law firm's managing partner.

"Perkins, I need to see you in my office ASAP," the senior lawyer barked.

"Yes, sir!" Hank replied. "I'll be right up."

He hung up his phone, jumped out of his chair, and ran to the elevator. He was grateful that moments after he pressed the up button, a car appeared; he was eager to reach the managing partner's office as quickly as possible so he could make a good impression.

It wasn't long before Hank was on the top floor of the skyscraper where the senior partners' offices were located, standing before Fleesum's assistant. "I'm here to see Mr. Fleesum," Hank announced with pride – it was highly unusual for a junior associate like himself to be summoned to the managing partner's office.

"Go right in," the unimpressed woman said.

Hank walked in through the door and into an office that was larger than his apartment, and possibly the split-level ranch in which he'd grown up. Fleesum had his back turned to him and was looking out the plate glass picture window at downtown Middleton. The young attorney couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to sit in the managing partner's oversized chair.

"You can't have it," Fleesum said.

"Excuse me?" Hank replied.

Fleesum spun around and appraised his visitor. "My chair. You can't have it. I know you want it, Perkins."

"Oh no, sir, I'm quite content where I am."

"Then you're a useless drone without any ambition who's fired."

"Actually, sir, the view from up here is quite nice and I wouldn't mind earning seven figures a year."

"Even if that means climbing over my cold, dead body?"

"Sir, if it will get me a better review, I'll even climb over your still-warm body."

Fleesum grinned, then rose, and walked over to a pair of leather armchairs. "I like your attitude, Perkins," he said as he dropped into one of the seats. "Now park yourself."

Hank took a seat and looked expectantly at his boss.

"What comes to mind when I say Hencho?" Fleesum asked.

"The nation's leading supplier of human and technological resources to the allegedly extra-legal community," Hank replied quickly.

Dunham arched an eyebrow. "Anything else?"

"Twelve point two million dollars in annual billings, sir."

The managing partner nodded approvingly. "And how much in annual billings does Kim Possible represent?"

"If we creatively maximize the time we charge for, perhaps twenty thousand dollars."

"So which client is more important to the long-term financial prospects of the firm?"

"One could argue Kim Possible," Hank said, surprising his boss. "The positive press generated from defending her is worth a small fortune. However, there is a downside to that coverage."

"Oh?" Fleesum said, steeping his fingers.

"It might give pause to clients in the allegedly extra-legal community, potentially reducing revenue from a reliable and lucrative source."

"So, back to my question: Kim Possible or Jack Hench?"

"Hench," Hank answered.

"That kid you working with really the legal prodigy everyone says he is?"

"Yes," Hank said. "He wrote a paper for his corporate law class about the Commerce Clause that—"

"So if the firm's needs required you to remove yourself from the Possible case, she'd still have decent legal representation?"

"Yes, she would."

"Good," Fleesum said as he leaned back in his chair. "Because as of right now, you're off that case and working with the Hencho team."

"Me?"

"Jack Hench specifically asked for you," Fleesum said as he rose from his chair and indicated Hank should do the same. The old lawyer walked his young protégé to the door. "Do us proud, Perkins. And, even more important, make sure to run up those billable hours."

"Will do, sir," Hank said enthusiastically.

IV.

Earl looked at the battered punching bag, sighed, and shook his head.

"Second one this week," he said to Merle.

"Yep," Merle said laconically.

"You have any idea who this Ron person is?"

"Nope," Merle replied, as he helped Earl take down the abused piece of gym equipment.

The two guards stood in silence. Then Earl began to fidget.

"I get to tell her, don't I?"

"Yep," Merle said, glad he wouldn't have to break the news to Kim about the disciplinary action her latest assault on the bag had earned her. Seniority, he reflected, did indeed have its benefits.

V.

"Like the hair net, Princess," Shego gibed as she approached her long-time foe.

"So not in the mood," Kim replied darkly. She'd been working the food-service line for almost two hours. Her feet hurt, the food smelled gorchy, and she hated the hair net, which was not only a fashion disaster but, in reviving memories of the time she had to work the cafeteria line at school, reminded her of Ron, who she still wanted to both bust and buss.

"So don't care," Shego replied. "I'll have some of the stew."

"Here," Kim grumbled as she slapped down a ladle of the brown glop onto a plate and handed it to her long-time foe.

"You know what? I'd rather have the spaghetti," Shego said as she handed the meal back to Kim.

"Sorry, one plate per person," Kim said.

"Fine, I'll have _one_ plate of the pasta," Shego snarled.

"You already have the stew. Enjoy," Kim said before she looked away from Shego and down the line of hungry inmates. "Next."

Shego glared at Kim through narrowed eyes; then she had an idea. "Wrong, Kimmie. I don't have the stew. You do!" And with that, she hurled her lunch right at the teen's chest.

Kim looked down at her stained apron and jumpsuit. "I can't believe you did that!"

"Believe it. And be grateful," Shego snarked. "It's an improvement over your usual look. See you later, loser!"

Kim fumed, wanting nothing more than to vault the food service station and take Shego down. But she knew she couldn't afford to be involved in a brawl, not with her trial just days away.

Tiny, who had watched the incident unfold, felt no such compunctions. She rose from her seat and walked up to Shego.

"I think you owe Kim an apology," Tiny said in a quiet, even voice.

"Yeah, right," Shego replied dismissively.

Tiny laid a hand on Shego's shoulder. "Now."

"Hand off the shoulder now, Sister," Shego growled.

"Or what? You'll throw some food at me?"

"No, I'll throw you!" Shego said. With the speed of a trained ninja, she reached up, grabbed Tiny's forearm, spun, and, using her comet-powered strength, threw the large woman over her shoulder.

VI.

"Hey!" Ron protested as the video monitor went dark.

Rufus responded with a scowl. Then he began jumping up and down on one of his human's legal texts as he angrily chittered. "Case!"

"What?" Ron said testily. "I not only don't get a date because of KP but now I can't even play Zombie Mayhem because of her?"

Rufus glared at his human, his expression one of anger and disappointment. "Kim best friend," he squeaked.

Ron looked at Rufus, then at a picture of himself with Kim taken in a carnival photo booth; his shoulders sagged and he tossed aside his controller. "I know, I know, she is," he said as he reached for his notes. "And I promised her I'd do my best and the Rondo keeps his promises."

"Yeah," Rufus agreed, giving his human a paw's up.

"Okay, let's see what kind of legal goodness we can find in _State of Colorado versus Destructoman_," Ron said as he began paging through his materials. He had just found the case he wanted when his phone rang.

"Hola, Ron Stoppable, Esquire," he said.

"Ron, it's Hank."

"Hank, my man, whassup?"

"Well, er, um, it's about the Possible case …"

"Coolio!"

"… We need to talk."

_To Be Continued …_


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks to campy, Classic Cowboy, Boris Yeltsin, Mr. Wizard, spectre666, Joe Stoppinghem, whitem, Josh84, Eddy13, CajunBear73, Shrike176, screaming phoenix, acosta perez jose ramiro, noncynic, Katsumara, RonHeartbreaker, Danny-171984, Michael Howard, and Quathis for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Thanks to campy for proofreading this chapter.

Leave a review and I'll send a reply.

KP © Disney; original characters © the author.

* * *

I.

Shego effortlessly flipped Tiny over her shoulder and the 250-pound inmate sailed halfway across the room. But rather than land hard on the floor, she set down gracefully on her feet, turned and faced a surprised Shego.

"Okay, Precious, bring it," Tiny said contemptuously. "If you dare."

Shego bristled. She was accustomed to giving other people dismissive nicknames, not receiving them. She growled, fired up her glow power, and attacked.

Kim, who was watching from her station, had been ready to doff her apron and hair net so she could leap into the fray and help Tiny when her friend dropped, rolled, and kicked out Shego's feet, sending the villainess sprawling. "Nice move," the teen said admiringly.

"Thanks," Tiny called over her shoulder.

"You're going to regret that, Tubby," Shego angrily said as she clambered back to her feet.

"I don't think so," Tiny replied with a smirk. "And given how tight that jumpsuit is, I don't think you should be making any snide remarks about other people's weight."

Shego glared at Tiny, then attacked. Rather than charge her head on, however, Shego launched herself into a standing vault, tucked her knees up to her chin, flipped three times and came down behind her opponent. She spun and sent a perfectly placed kick at Tiny's bottom – except Tiny was no longer where she had been; she was now perched atop the food service line in a crouch, where she was eyeing Shego the way a certain naked mole rat was known to consider unguarded wheels of aged cheddar.

"Huh?" a surprised Shego said, just in time to see the massive form of Tiny flying her way. "Oh snap," she muttered as the larger woman landed on her.

"We done now?" Tiny asked as she yanked back then twisted Shego's arm. "Not hearing a response, she pulled harder, eliciting a grunt. "So?"

"Fine," Shego grumbled, knowing she couldn't use her glow power unless she wanted to singe her own hair. "Done."

"Now apologize to Kim," Tiny said.

Shego rolled her eyes, then looked in Kim's direction. "Sorry, Princess," she mumbled.

Kim was stunned. "Uh, thanks," she said.

Tiny, satisfied, released her grip and rose to her feet, then helped Shego to hers. "You want to go after Kim when she's doing her hero thing, that's your business," Tiny said. "In here, you lay off her. Got it?"

"Whatever," Shego said before she turned to look at Kim. "When we're on the outside, Kimmie, you're mine."

"We'll see about that," she said with a cocked eyebrow as the henchwoman, shaking her head, sullenly left the cafeteria.

"Okay, spill," Kim said.

"About what?" Tiny asked.

"Those moves! They were ferociously good."

Tiny shrugged. "I studied with some sumo ninjas back in the late eighties."

"That explains a lot," Kim said with a nod of understanding.

"I also watch GWA whenever I can," Tiny added as she brushed some dust off of her jumpsuit. "Pain King has some pretty good moves."

II.

Professor Dementor posed in front of a full-length mirror, wearing a newly pressed uniform and a finely burnished helmet. He looked at himself face on, then turned and admired his profile.

"Demenz, you are ON FIRE!" he approvingly told his reflection.

The Teutonic villain continued to preen, pleased with what he saw, confident that he would make a good impression on television. He was straightening his tunic when the doorbell rang.

He went to the front door of his lair, which he opened to find a United Postal Service deliveryman holding a package and a clipboard.

"You Professor Dementor?" the man asked.

"Ja? Vould you like my autograph?"

"Just on this receipt," the man said wearily.

"You are not impressed mit my celebrity?" Dementor said as he signed the form and took the box. "You know, I have been on _Good Day, Middleton_ und _Celebrity Triangles_!"

"Mister, if I had a dollar for every supervillain I've met who's been on a game or talk show, I wouldn't have to deliver your stuff," the man answered as he turned and walked back to his waiting truck.

III.

After the dust-up in the cafeteria, Kim was busy. As was her wont, she threw herself into everything she did, whether it was reorganizing the prison's small library, helping the maintenance staff repair the boiler in Cell Block A, or tutoring two of her fellow inmates who were studying for their GEDs. Not only did all of this activity allow her to do what she enjoyed so much – helping people – it enabled her to avoid thinking about her Ron sitch. But now, as she was escorted to the conference room where she was to meet with Ron and Hank to discuss her now-imminent trial, she felt like a cauldron of increasingly roiling emotions, her continued anger with and romantic feelings for her best friend warring for supremacy, all while she needed keep her head in the game so she could be ready for her courtroom appearance.

"I'll be back in forty-five minutes," Thelma said. "I know you won't try anything, but I still need to tell you that the room's monitored by closed-circuit TV."

"So everything we do is being watched," Kim said. "Got it."

"Sorry," Thelma said with a not-unkind smile as she unlocked the door, which she then opened. "See you in a bit and good luck."

Kim looked in and saw Ron, who was sitting on the other side of the Plexiglas divider, reviewing some papers. He was alone, which was unexpected. But what really caught her attention was what he was wearing.

IV.

"Hey, Boss," the man said to the backside of his employer, who was on his hands and knees and muttering.

"Well?" a harried Drakken asked the large, red-suited henchman, after he emerged from beneath his desk where he'd been searching for an over-sized, mission-critical part of his latest Greatest Scheme Ever. "Have you found it, Jenkins?"

"Sorry, Boss, no luck. Me and the guys have searched the lair, top to bottom. Twice."

"Well search it again," Drakken snapped. "That chart is vital to the success of Project Infinite Doom."

"Will do," he said as he lumbered out of the lab just as two goons, both of whom were clearly nervous, came in.

"Now what is it?" Drakken said.

"Tell him, Rodriguez," the larger of the two said.

"Do I have to?" Rodriguez asked.

"Tell me what?" Drakken replied.

"I, uh, think I know what happened to your piece of paper," Rodriguez said sheepishly.

"Do I even want to know?" Drakken sighed.

"Probably not," the man replied honestly.

"Well?" Drakken asked as the man stood before him in silence.

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to tell me what happened to my chart?"

"But I thought we just agreed that you probably wouldn't want to know!"

"Rodriguez!" Drakken bellowed in frustration.

"Well," he explained, "I have this collection of porcelain Hummler™ figurines—"

"Those creepy little kitschy things from Germany?" Drakken said.

"They're not creepy," Rodriguez countered. "They're cute. And, and they're a great investment!"

"Rodriguez, you are a disgrace to henchmen everywhere," Drakken observed with unhidden contempt.

"Says the supervillain with a stuffed animal," Rodriguez shot back.

"Teddy is not a stuffed animal. He's an inanimate companion animal who provides me with needed emotional support and comfort," Drakken huffed. "Trying to take over the world can be very stressful."

"Uh, Boss, Rodriguez," said the other henchmen, who felt the conversation had already drifted far too deep into TMI territory. "The chart …"

"That's right," Drakken said. "What happened to my chart?"

"Well, Professor Dementor and I agreed to swap some of our figures. I sent him Outer Space Hansel and Gretel Hummlers™ for a punk rock Heidi Hummler™ and an Autobahn Otto™, which means I'll now—"

"Get on with it," Drakken said impatiently.

"Fine," Rodriguez said petulantly. "I needed to wrap mine up so I could send them to him but since I couldn't find any bubble wrap, I looked for some paper. I think I used your chart …"

"You sent my top-secret plans for Project Infinite Doom to Dementor?" an incredulous Drakken sputtered.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry," Rodriguez said.

"Do you know how long it took me to come up with that plan?" Drakken cried as he dropped to his knees. "I do all the work and now Dementor gets to take over the world! This is not fair!"

"Well, if it makes you feel better," Rodriguez said helpfully, "I think I came out ahead in my trade. Autobahn Otto™ is really rare ..."

V.

"Hi, KP," Ron said as he looked up from his papers.

"Where's Hank?" she asked as she sat down.

Ron responded by rubbing the back of his neck. "He's, uh, off the case."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, I just found out. He's doing something for Hencho."

"Great," Kim groaned. "Now I don't have a lawyer."

"Hey!" Ron protested. "You've still got me!"

Kim arched a very skeptical eyebrow in response.

"Doubt all you want, Kim," Ron huffed. "But don't forget: I now have mad fu legal skills, a Wade-level IQ, and a signed diploma. The defense I've prepared is as sharp as the pointy top things on one of your dad's rockets."

"Riiiiggghht," Kim said. "And that isn't inspiring confidence in me why?"

"Maybe you should hear what the Ronster's got in mind before you scoff," he said.

"Fine," she said, her arms crossed across her chest.

"Okay, KP, what's got you tweaked?" he asked, seeing her unmistakably hostile body language.

"Nothing," she answered.

"Uh, best friend here," he said.

"'Best friend who lies' you mean," she snapped.

"What do you mea– uh oh."

Kim scowled at Ron. "You are so flawed. Me and Junior? What were you thinking?"

"Okay, look, I know I shouldn't have told Tara that, but she needed some reassuring that you and I were just friends," Ron said before he mumbled, "Not that it did any good."

"What do you mean?"

"Tara found out you and Junior weren't an item. She dumped me before we even went on a date."

"Serves you right," Kim said. "You so shouldn't have lied."

"Yeah, you're right," Ron acknowledged. "But you don't know what it's like having trouble getting a date!"

Kim rolled her eyes. "Ron, you just need to be yourself. Lying isn't the answer."

"Says you! You can afford to tell the truth! Me? I have to lie!"

Kim smirked. "And yet still Tara dumped you."

"KP, she didn't dump me because I lied. She dumped me because of you."

"What are you talking about?"

"She said that even if she were my girlfriend she'd still be second banana to you and she wasn't down with that …"

"Oh," Kim said softly.

"… It's not like you and I are dating," Ron said dejectedly. "Man, shot down because of something that's never even going to happen."

Kim, deciding the time had finally come to make her move, took a deep breath and then said lightly, "Oh, I don't know about that."

"You don't know about what?" Ron said cluelessly, eliciting another smirk from Kim.

"You and me never dating," she said.

"You don't have to rub it in," he said, a slight tremor in his voice. "I know I'm just your bud. I, I'm cool with that."

"Are you really?" Kim asked, hoping she knew the answer as she directed a Puppy Dog Pout at him.

"Oh, man," Ron groaned. "Not the Pout!"

"Tell me the truth," Kim said as, much to Ron's chagrin, her eyes grew even wider and her lower lip began to quiver.

"Fine!" he relented. "I'm not cool with it!"

Kim smiled with satisfaction. "Spankin'. Because neither am I."

"Okay, you've lost me," Ron said.

Kim hit her forehead.

"What?" Ron said.

"You really don't understand girls, do you?"

"Well, I don't know about that—"

"Ron, I like you."

"I know that. You're my best friend."

"No. I like like you."

"You like like me?"

Kim smiled. "Mmm hmmm."

"But what about Mankey?"

Kim shrugged. "Nice guy, pretty golden, but not what I'm looking for in a BF."

"And, uh, what are you looking for in a BF?" croaked Ron, who for a moment wondered if the wholly unexpected conversation he and his best friend were having was part of a dream. He hoped not, since dreams like this, while starting well, inevitably took a turn for the worse when the monkeys appeared.

"Oh," Kim said as she looked in mock thoughtfulness towards the ceiling, "way too much fondness for Tex Mex, an inexplicable love of pro wrestling, is easily scared yet always has his best friend's back on missions, and he can cook."

"For reals?"

"For reals," she said before adding impishly, "He also has to have big ears, a cowlick, and freckles."

"Holy cannoli! This is huge!" Ron said, flinging out his arms. "But, uh, you sure you really want you and me to be an 'us' and that you're not just going stir crazy from being on the inside?"

Kim cocked her eyebrow. "Trust me. I'm sure …"

"Badical!"

"… As long as you tell the truth."

"I'm all about telling the truth, KP!" Ron said enthusiastically.

"Good," she said warmly, reaching up to touch the Plexiglas. Ron responded by placing his hand opposite hers.

"So when did you realize you had it bad for the Rondo?" he asked as he waggled his eyebrows.

Kim snorted, but then grinned. "You are so weird."

"But you still like like me."

"Yes, I do," Kim said. "Let's just say I've had some free time lately to think about things."

"Cool," Ron said.

"So cool," she agreed.

The new couple sat in companionable silence for a moment before Kim asked, "So, why are you dressed like your dad?"

Ron looked down at his jacket and tie, then back at Kim. "Look like a lawyer, think like a lawyer. Though he's an actuary, so, technically …"

"Ron, focus," Kim said sharply.

"Kim, Kim, Kim. That's what I'm doing. The suitage is my way of keeping my head in the game. Now, if you'll let the Rondo finish, he'll tell you about the bon-diggity defense he has planned for you …"

Kim listened attentively to Ron. At first she was skeptical of letting him defend her, but he quickly proved to her that he really had earned his juris doctor degree and, more importantly, that he knew how to use it.

"So, what do you think?"

"You lost me when you got to the part about the giant glow worms."

"What? _Go City v. Captain Cephalopod_?"

Kim nodded. "Sorry."

"Dang," Ron said, looking disappointed. "I thought I was being clear."

"You were," Kim quickly said. "It's just that, well, while I'm the daughter of a rocket scientist and a brain surgeon, I'm not a lawyer, like you."

"You're telling me that you didn't understand something that I did?"

Kim nodded again.

"And you're cool with that?" Ron asked, half expecting, based on previous experience with his best friend, an explosion rooted in her inability to concede others might be better than her at some things.

"Yes, I am," Kim said. "After all, you have a right to excel – especially if it gets me out of this fashion disaster and into a new dress so I can go to the Spring Fling with my new BF."

"Fear not, KP," Ron said, his chest puffed out. "The Ronman is in da courthouse!"

"Don't push it," she said, arching her eyebrow.

"Gotcha …" he said sheepishly.

_To Be Continued …_


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks to Boris Yeltsin, Mr. Wizard, spectre666, campy, Josh84, KP's Man, CajunBear73, acosta perez jose ramiro, screaming phoenix, Shrike176, daywalkr82, Quathis, whitem, Guyver Unit 1, Katsumara, noncynic, Eddy13, Danny-171984, Joe Stoppinghem, Michael Howard and Texas Dad for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Special thanks to campy for proofreading this chapter.

Leave a review and I'll send a reply. Or perhaps a subpoena …

KP © Disney.

* * *

I.

"Pffft," Dementor sneered as he looked over the equations that he found written on the paper in which his new Hummlers™, which sat beside him at his work station, had been wrapped. "This is belonging in ze garbage, liebkins, no?" he said to his recent acquisitions as he began to wad up Drakken's chart. "Und he calls himself a zupervillain ..."

The Teutonic bad guy was about to toss the ball of paper into his wastebasket when he had an idea. Chuckling with satisfaction, he unfolded the chart and carefully smoothed out the creases. Then he took a red pen and, now giggling and snorting with glee, began to make copious notes and comments. When he was done, he made once last mark at the top, which he circled with gusto. Pleased with his handiwork, he refolded the chart, slipped it into a large manila envelope which he addressed in block letters and left it in the mailbox for the postal carrier to take away.

II.

"This is Tricia Labowski, reporting from the Middleton Court House where the trial of the century, _The People v. Kim Possible_, starts today. Interest in the proceedings is intense, not only because Middleton's own teen hero will be on the stand but because the prosecutor has political ambitions and the defense attorney is a fifteen-year-old legal prodigy who happens to be the Assistant D.A.'s cousin. Surrounding me are media from around the globe and curious members of the public …"

III.

"Wow. This is so the drama," Kim said to Ron as she looked at the sea of faces. They were riding in the back of a prison van and were accompanied by Thelma and Selma.

"You sure you want to go in the front, KP?" he asked.

"Yes," she said firmly. "I'm innocent and I'm so not going to act like I'm not."

"Just checking," Ron said before he awkwardly reached out and took her hand.

Kim looked down at his large mitt, which all but enveloped her small hand, and smiled. "Thanks," she replied, as she laced her fingers through his. "So, how are you?"

"The Ronman is as cool as ice," he said as he leaned back in his seat.

"Really?"

"Yep. As long as there aren't any monkeys inside, we'll be Chauncey."

"Monkeys?" Selma asked.

"It's a camp thing," Kim said with a roll of the eyes.

"Bobo the Chimp," Ron hissed. "He's almost as evil as my cousin Reuben."

IV.

Reuben strode through the crowd, his chin thrust out, his expression one of serious purpose. To the reporters and gathered citizens, he was the very picture of serenity, a man who looked as if it was a routine matter for him to prosecute teen heroes-gone-bad. What they didn't know was that he'd spent countless hours preparing for this moment. He knew this was a golden opportunity to secure his path to higher office.

When he reached the top of the courthouse steps, he paused, surveyed the crowd, and then had an epiphany: Kim Possible wasn't going to propel him to the DA's office.

If he played his cards right, she was going to send him all the way to the Mayor's office and from there, who knew?

V.

"I do not have time for zis now!" Dementor hollered into the phone.

"But BIL …"

"Who?"

"You, Brother-in-Law …"

"Myron, you DUMPKOPF!" Dementor screamed. "You vill listen und you vill listen GOOD!"

"But, BIL, we're running short of apricots at the factory."

"Am I sounding like a man who cares about der sthuffings for der pastries? NO! I AM NOT!"

"But the apricot ones are our second most popular variety, right after gooseberry."

"MYRON! Your mouth is flapping but I am not HEARING!

"But, but …"

"I am about to achieve der total and utterly humiliating defeat of Fraulein Possible, something ze other villains can only dream of! Because of me, she vill be cooling her heels in ze pokey so long her annoying teen slang vill have enough time to go out of fashion und then come back in. After today, my name they vill be speaking MIT AWE! Do you UNDERSTAND? I am on ze brink of evil greatness und you vant me to worry about FRUIT FILLINGS? No. There will be no worrying about der fruits. Not now. Not EVER!"

"But –"

"MYRON! DEAL WITH IT!" Dementor bellowed before he slammed down the receiver. Laboring to bring his breathing under control, he went into the kitchen and made himself a smoothie. After he enjoyed his drink and calmed down, he looked in the mirror, made sure he didn't have a frothy mustache, and left for the courthouse to savor his imminent triumph.

VI.

Kim and Ron stood before the doors to the courtroom.

"Game time," she said.

"I'm ready for anything," he replied.

"Good," she said, taking his hand. "Thanks for having my back."

"It's what we sidekicks do," Ron said with a grin.

"I thought you were my BF?" she asked playfully.

"Just because Ron Stoppable is your BF and your lawyer, doesn't mean he's foresworn his time-honored duties as sidekick to the amazing Kim Possible."

"I definitely think I'll keep you around," she said warmly before she leaned in and gave him a kiss.

"Whoa," Ron said afterwards, grinning goofily.

Kim, pleased, smirked.

"You two ready?" a bailiff asked with bemusement.

The two teens exchanged one last glance and squeezed each other's hands reassuringly. Then Kim looked at the court officer and said with determination, "Bring it."

VII.

"So, Mom, if Ron blows this …" Jim said.

" … And Kim gets life in prison …" Tim continued.

"Can we have her stuff?" Jim concluded.

"Jim! Tim!" Ann exclaimed in shock.

"Boys, there will be no dividing your sister's possessions before she's convicted," James said sternly.

The boys were about to complain when the door to the courtroom opened and the great room, which was filled to capacity, fell silent.

VIII.

"You Doctor Drakken?" the brown-suited man asked wearily.

"I see you know my reputation!" Drakken said with pride.

"Actually, your name's on the delivery manifest. Sign here," the delivery man said as he proffered a clipboard.

Drakken did as requested, then exchanged the clipboard for a large envelope. Miffed that the man didn't know of his evil reputation, the blue-skinned villain stomped back into the lair. He sat down at his desk and tore open the envelope.

"What's this?" he asked as he pulled out a large piece of paper, which he quickly unfolded. He was surprised to find himself holding the missing chart from Project Infinite Doom.

Drakken was sure he could feel his blood pressure rising as he looked at his rival's snarky annotations, especially the big, red, circled F-minus that Dementor had scrawled in the upper right-hand corner.

"So, Dementor thinks he can just diss my plan?" he snapped as he rose from his chair and stormed to the hangar bay. "Well, let's see how he feels when the Doctor harshes his mellow."

IX.

Kim, wearing a simple blue dress, stepped through the door accompanied by Ron, who wore a three-piece suit and, in a sign of how seriously he took this situation, real shoes. They were flanked by two bailiffs as they made their way to the front of the courtroom where Reuben, sitting at the prosecutor's table, waited.

The older Stoppable smirked at his younger relative. He rose from his seat and approached Ron, extending his hand, which Ron took. As the two cousins shook hands, Reuben whispered, "You're going down, Cuz. When I'm done your friend will be going back to the slammer and you'll be crying for your mama."

"The only who'll be crying is you, Reubo," Ron replied. "I'm taking you down."

"Yeah, right," Reuben snorted. "Be serious."

"Note serious face," Ron answered as he discretely began to twist his cousin's wrist.

"Hey …" Reuben gasped. "Stop that!"

"Read the legal brief, dude," Ron hissed as he applied more pressure, increasing his cousin's discomfort before he suddenly released his grip. "Nobody messes with Ron Stoppable's best friend and gets away with it."

Ron then turned away and returned to the defense table, where Kim cocked an eyebrow.

"Do I even want to know?" she asked.

"Nothing to worry about, KP," Ron said. "Just a little family bonding."

"Riiiiggghht—"

"All rise!" the bailiff cried out, interrupting Kim, as Judge Mint entered the courtroom and took his place at the bench. "This court is now in session!"

_To Be Continued …_


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks to Boris Yeltsin, Classic Cowboy, CajunBear73, Mr. Wizard, RabulaTasa, screaming phoenix, Comet Moon, Quathis, Josh84, Eddy13, daywalkr82, Michael Howard, Danny-171984, Joe Stoppinghem, Katsumara, Acosta perez jose ramiro, campy and noncynic for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Special thanks to campy for proofreading this chapter.

Leave a review and I'll send you a court order, er, a reply …

KP © Disney; Original Characters © the author.

* * *

I.

Reuben rose from his seat and approached the jury. His demeanor, confident and inviting, made the twelve men and women immediately feel as if they were his confidantes and counselors.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury," he began, "I ask you to take a moment to look at this courtroom, at the judge, at the officers of the court, the lawyers, and the citizens who are gathered here today."

The jurors complied, then returned their attention to Reuben.

"Now, look at one another."

Again, they did as asked, intrigued by the request.

Reuben smiled, the way a close friend would when sharing a special revelation with another friend. "When you hear me speak of the rule of law, I want you to think of what you have seen, not of some abstraction. The rule of law is about you and me, about our families and friends. It's the set of rules by which we play, whether we're a judge or lawyer or president or schoolteacher. It's the foundation on which our society is built and the glue that holds our community together.

"But some people feel that they are above the rules. That because they supposedly do good they can ignore the rules when it is convenient for them to do so.

"Kim Possible," he declared as he swung around and pointed at her, "is one of those people.

"She's an honor roll student, captain of her high school cheer squad, and active participant in multiple extracurricular activities at her school. She's a sunshine spreader at the Middleton Medical Center. The daughter of a brain surgeon and rocket scientist, she has every advantage a young person could wish. She has been given much and rightly wished to give back in return.

"But somewhere along the way, something went wrong.

"Her desire to do good was twisted into something else.

"Once she was satisfied with helping her neighbors. But that wasn't enough. Getting cats out of trees, helping old women cross the street, no longer satisfied her.

"She decided that she was going to save the world!

"It didn't matter to her that we have a police department or Global Justice.

"So what if Miss Possible was just a high school sophomore? She boasted that she could do anything!

"So she began to go after so-called supervillains, heedless of the consequences. She didn't care that her engagements repeatedly endangered the people of Middleton, that her activities made our community a target for every evildoer in the land, that thanks to her reckless activities, the local Bueno Nacho has become a scene of numerous altercations and has actually been destroyed two times.

"And now, thanks to her unchecked sense of entitlement, she has set herself up as judge, jury, and law enforcement agency. Without a warrant, without any legal authorization, Kim Possible crossed international borders, broke into Professor Dementor's lair and stole his property, his invention, the Transportulator, a device that has untold potential for good.

"Imagine a machine that could immediately transport rescue workers to the scene of a natural disaster, that could retrieve a sick child from a remote location and bring her to a hospital, that could be used to deliver supplies to miners trapped in a shaft.

"Now imagine that this machine was no longer available because of a self-important teenage girl's need for an adrenaline rush, regardless of the law or, indeed, the greater good.

"This was not the first time Kim Possible did something like this, nor, left unchecked, will it be the last.

"In the course of her escapades, she has repeatedly flouted the laws of this country and many others.

"Through her actions she has made a mockery of the law enforcement and judicial processes.

"This young woman isn't a teen hero. She's a self-serving, publicity-seeking vigilante. She should be held accountable for her actions, subjected to the rule of law.

"I will demonstrate, beyond any doubt, that Miss Possible knowingly and intentionally violated the law. That she is guilty of breaking and entering, the theft of a matter teleportation device, the illegal transport of molecules over state lines, and consorting with known supervillains.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury," he concluded, making eye contact with each one, "when our arguments are over, when all of the evidence has been presented, you will agree that you have no choice but to do the right thing on behalf of not only the people of Middleton, but for this dangerous, deluded young woman: find her guilty and send her to prison."

Reuben took a final look at the jurors, turned and purposefully walked back to his seat, pointedly ignoring his cousin as he passed by him.

II.

Philip Zaruda looked up from the Captain Constellation novel he was reading and, looking at the clock on his mantel, saw that it was already past 9:30 a.m. and realized that he'd been engrossed in the space opera for more than four hours.

"Time for breakfast!" the disheveled scientist said to himself. As if offering confirmation, his stomach grumbled.

He laid down his book, got up, and wandered into the kitchen.

"So, what should I have? Squirrel stew or a squirrel omelet?" he mused aloud. "Maybe I should roll the dice and see what fate has in store."

Having decided to entrust his choice of meal to chance, Zaruda took down his recipe box from its place on a shelf next to the refrigerator, closed his eyes, opened the lid, and pulled out a card.

He was surprised when he opened his eyes and saw that the index card he had withdrawn was entitled "Project Phoebus." In smaller letters beneath that title he'd noted, "Bigger, Badder, Better."

"Well, this doesn't belong here," he observed. He was putting the card down when he focused on one of the equations and realized he'd inadvertently transposed a "1" and a "0".

Zaruda considered his error, studied his work, and concluded that the effects of his revamped Project Phoebus weren't as big, bad or better as he'd thought: the ray's effects would wear off much sooner than projected. The question, the wildly eccentric genius realized, was just when "sooner" was. He hoped that the boy who'd come seeking his assistance a few days earlier would complete whatever mission he'd set out upon before his intellect reverted to its normal level …

III.

Kim, always pleased when her Potential Boy rose to the occasion, smiled encouragingly at Ron as he rose to his feet. He grinned in reply, then straightened his jacket and strode out from behind the table and walked over to the jury box.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury," he began before he was brought up short by a wave of nausea. _Man, this can't be happening!_ he thought as his stomach churned. _ I only had three breakfast burritos this morning!_

Kim looked at Ron with concern as she saw him pale.

"As I was saying," he resumed. "… I, uh …"

Much to his horror, the elegant opening argument he'd so carefully crafted seemed to be slipping away from his grasp. The law he'd so easily mastered was now turning into the legal equivalent of sideways eight thingies.

"Ron?" Kim asked as she saw a look of panic – the kind she was accustomed to seeing when her best friend discovered that he'd completely forgotten about an imminent Barkin-inspired exam – spread across his face.

"Mr. Stoppable?" Judge Mint prompted.

"Uh, could I have a moment?" Ron said, theatrically clutching his stomach and desperately playing for time. "Crummy tummy."

Before the judge could answer, an explosion rocked the courtroom, filling the courtroom with dust and falling plaster.

"This had so better not be Junior," Kim grumbled as she wondered what else could go wrong.

As if in answer to her unspoken question, a large piece of the ceiling dislodged itself and plummeted towards one of her two least favorite people in the room: Reuben Stoppable. Despite the justifiable animosity she felt toward the Assistant DA, she did the only thing she could: she leapt up from her seat, vaulted over the table, did a double hand spring, grabbed him by the arm and yanked him out of the way just as the slab crashed to the floor, crushing both the table behind which Reuben had been seated and the chair in which he had been sitting.

People began screaming while the judge began to furiously bang his gavel in an attempt to restore order. Ron, meanwhile, his attention now focused on Kim, rushed over to his best friend-turned-girlfriend, who was covered in dust.

"You okay?" each asked the other.

"Jinx!" Kim proclaimed. "You owe me a soda."

"Man, I can never win," he groaned. "You'd think just once I could—"

"Focus, Ron," Kim said. "I need you to worry about winning this case, not a soda."

"Yeah, about that …" he replied uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Sitch me. Now," she demanded, intuiting that whatever was causing Ron's present discomfort involved more than his enjoying too much salsa and refried beans for breakfast.

Ron was about to comply with Kim's demand when a giant mechanical leg stepped through the hole that had just been blasted through the courthouse roof. The two teens, along with everyone else present, looked up, and saw that the steel appendage was one of three that extended from the bottom of an armored gondola. They watched as one of two hatches on the cab's bottom slid open. A giant, articulated claw snaked out of the aperture and, with surprising speed and grace, snatched an irate Professor Dementor.

"Vhat is going ON? Zis IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!" he bellowed.

As the voluble Teutonic villain ranted, the second hatch slid open, revealing the triumphant, satisfied visage of none other than Doctor Drakken.

_To Be Continued …_


	15. Chapter 15

My thanks to Mr. Wizard, Boris Yeltsin, LJ58, screaming phoenix, Josh84, Eddy13, campy, Katsumara, noncynic, Joe Stoppinghem, CajunBear73, Quathis, Danny-171984, Jillie Rose, Acosta perez jose Ramiro, XoXoGigglieGirl1, Michael Howard and greenzxr for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Special thanks to campy for proofreading this chapter.

Leave a review and I'll send a reply.

KP © Disney; all original characters © the author

* * *

I.

"Zis is an OUTRAGE!" Dementor bellowed as he struggled against the metallic claw in whose grip he found himself trapped.

"You should have thought of that before you decided to harsh my mellow, Demenz," Drakken retorted with a chuckle as he watched his captive foe.

"You vill be REGRETTING ZIS OF THAT I AM PROMISING YOU!" Dementor shrieked.

"Let him go, Drakken," Kim demanded as she approached her arch-foe.

"Yeah, what she said," added Ron, who was by Kim's side.

"Now," Harry Mint growled from the bench.

"Well, if it isn't teen criminal Kim Possible, her buffoon and – who are you?" Drakken said to the jurist as he manipulated some controls so he could flip Dementor upside down.

"The judge who's going to send your sorry keister to the can," Mint barked.

"Oh, please," Drakken said dismissively. "In case you haven't noticed, it is I, Doctor Drakken, who is wielding technology so awesomely lethal that it can destroy this building in mere seconds."

"And I'm wielding this gavel that's going to come down on you like a ton of bricks," Mint retorted sharply.

II.

"Looks like your boss brought his A Game," Tiny said to Shego as the two women, along with almost every other prisoner, watched the trial on the Rec Room television.

"Maybe," Shego replied with an air of ennui as she inspected her clawed gloves. "But since we're talking about Doctor D, I can guarantee you he'll forget he's got it. Which means it's time for me to say _hasta la vista_."

"Where are you going?" DNAmy asked as Shego rose to her feet.

"To save Drakken from once again embarrassing his sorry self," the glamorous henchwoman said as she used her glow power to blast a hole in the wall. "See you later, losers," she added as she exited, leaving a stunned collection of inmates behind.

"Cool," one of the cons finally said.

"Yeah," another agreed, "Though she didn't have to call us losers."

"Woo-hoo!" a third cried as she pumped her fist. "You know what this means, everyone? Jail break!"

The prisoners, as if of one mind, responded to that declaration by hurriedly stampeding through the most assuredly unauthorized exit. Thelma and Selma, who were on duty, kept to the side of the room and watched the mass exodus. The two guards were tough and competent, but they also knew they were outnumbered.

Besides, they wanted to know why Tiny remained behind when she could have escaped.

III.

"Okay, so this is not how I saw the trial unfolding," Ron observed as he watched Drakken shake Dementor like a maraca.

"Understatement much?" Kim observed wryly before she looked Ron in the eye and demanded, "So, what were you about to tell me before Drakken decided to make his appearance?"

Ron rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, you see, uh, I, er," he sputtered before he blurted out, "My Wade-level brainage deserted me!"

Kim slapped her forehead. "And this happened when?"

"About five minutes ago," he said sheepishly.

"Great," Kim groaned.

"At least I still have hustle!" Ron said defensively.

Kim cocked a very skeptical eyebrow at him.

"Hey," he protested. "Don't underestimate hustle."

"Cousin," Reuben, who was brushing debris from his suit, said as he joined the two teens, "I'm not sure what you are talking about, but I'm sure it's not kosher. As soon as I put your vigilante friend away, you are most definitely going down."

"You know, Reubo, you could at least thank KP for saving your life before sending her away for ten to twenty," Ron responded testily. When Kim shot him a look of disbelief he conceded, "Okay, maybe that didn't sound right …"

"I'll remember that at her sentencing hear—" the Assistant D.A. said before he crumpled to the ground, the victim of an unexpected encounter between his expensively-coiffed pate and a dislodged villain's helmet – Dementor's headgear had come loose thanks to Drakken's vigorous shaking of his Teutonic foe and fallen onto the prosecutor's noggin.

"That's it! I've had enough," Mint finally snapped. "Bailiff, take that man into custody!" he ordered, pointing up at Drakken.

"Uh, Your Honor …" stammered the uniformed man who was most definitely not equipped to subdue supervillains.

Kim surveyed the situation. "This is so not good," she said. "We have to do something."

"Well, while I may no longer be the world's smartest lawyer, I'm pretty sure what's needed right now is the world's most babelicious teen hero and her bon-diggity sidekick," Ron said as he rose to his feet and took Kim by the hand before leading her across the courtroom, away from Drakken's machine and towards the defense table, where his briefcase lay.

"While I most def like the compliment and I'm glad to know I can still count on you to fight freaks with me, what are you doing?" she asked as Ron began to rummage through his bag. She watched with mounting curiosity and admittedly some annoyance as he tossed aside a soggy bag of Bueno Nacho, two comic books, and what she was pretty sure were Zombie Mayhem cheat codes, before he pulled out her grappler hair dryer.

"And you have that why?" she asked as she took her trusted tool from his hand.

"Rufus said I should bring it," Ron said with a grin and a shrug. "Just in case."

"I so owe him some cheese," she replied with a smile of her own. "You ready to take down the bad guy, Counselor?"

"I'm ready for anything, KP," he said, just in time for his pants to fall down.

Kim snorted, wrapped her arm around Ron's waist, and fired the grappler hook at the underbelly of Drakken's courtroom-destroying, Dementor-capturing contraption.

IV.

Selma pulled up a chair next to Tiny.

"Not that we're not glad to have you here, but why didn't you leave with the others?"

"And, what, lose my TV privileges after you recaptured me?"

"Come off it," Thelma said. "You and Shego are about the only ones here we couldn't recapture."

"You flatter me."

"Just speaking the truth," Thelma replied. "You're smart and you're savvy. I have no doubt Global Justice and the Middleton police will get the Peanut Gallery back soon enough. You, though, would have been a different matter. So what gives?"

Tiny looked at the hole in the wall, then back at the guards. "Possible."

"Kim?" Selma replied, eliciting a nod from the prisoner. "I don't think she's in a position to go after you."

"Don't sell the kid short," Tiny said with a laugh. "Besides, that's not it."

"Then what is?" Thelma asked.

Tiny snorted. "I didn't want to let her down."

V.

"Kim Possible!" Drakken exclaimed as he turned to see Kim gracefully climbing through a hatch.

"And her lawyer!" Ron added as he followed her in, sprawling on the floor.

"Oh, and what are you going to do, serve me with a subpoena?" Drakken jibed.

"Maybe," Ron sniffed as he got up. "What're you going to do about it?"

"Focus, Ron," Kim said with a roll of the eyes before she glared at her arch-foe. "It's over, Drakken."

"Sorry, but I've given up defeat at your hands for Lent," Drakken countered.

"Dude, how can you be religious and still be a villain?" Ron asked.

Kim rubbed her temples. "He's trying to be clever, Ron."

Ron looked at Drakken. "Really?"

"Yes, though you're killing the mood," Drakken said as he began to work some controls from behind a console. "Which is why, perhaps, it's time I did the same to you."

"I don't think so," Kim said as two claws shot out of Drakken's console. The teen hero pushed her sidekick to safety, spun, and launched into a double handspring that landed her between the blue-skinned villain and his controls. "The verdict's in Drakken, and you're going to prison."

"Only if you want your dopey sidekick to take the fall," an all too familiar and snide voice said.

Kim turned and saw that Shego had arrived – and she was dangling Ron upside down by the cuffs of his trousers through the open hatch through which they had entered and over the courtroom floor, which was more than twenty-five feet below.

"So, Kimmie," Shego sneered. "How long do you think it will be before Stoppable's loses his pants?"

VI.

"Okay, you've lost me," Thelma said.

"She has guts. Reminds me of when I was her age."

"That's right," Selma said. "I forgot that you were once a teen hero."

"Don't go spreading that around, okay?" Tiny said. "Not busting out when I had the chance to is going to do enough of a number on my rep here."

"Gotcha," Selma said

"So you took a shine to Possible because she reminds you of when you were her age?" Thelma agreed.

"Yeah, but it's more than that," Tiny said. "You two are twins. It's kind of nice to have a sister, isn't it?" she asked.

"Yeah, it is," Selma said.

"Most of the time!" Thelma chimed in, earning a derisive snort from Selma

Tiny shook her head, though she was grinning. "Me? I'm an only child," she continued. "Kim's the closest thing I've ever had to a sister."

"Then why'd you try to take her down when she showed up?" Thelma asked.

"Been here so long, I didn't know any other way," Tiny answered. "She reminded me otherwise."

There not being anything else to say at the moment, the three women turned their attention to the monitor just in time to watch Ron emerge through the hatch, held upside-down and flailing.

_To Be Continued ..._


	16. Chapter 16

Thanks to whitem, Mr. Wizard, Comet Moon, Josh84, campy, greenzxr, CajunBear73, Eddy13, screaming phoenix, Classic Cowboy, Quathis, Katsumara, acosta perez jose ramiro, Danny-171984, Joe Stoppinghem, Michael Howard, and noncynic for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Special thanks to campy for proofreading this chapter.

Leave a review and I'll send a reply.

KP © Disney; Original Characters © the Author

* * *

I.

"Drop the hairdryer, Princess, and I might not drop the buffoon."

Kim growled in frustration before she reluctantly complied with Shego's demand.

"Now step into the middle of the room."

"You are so going to be busted," Kim growled.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Shego replied dismissively. "Doc, tie her up."

"Yes, Shego … Wait a minute."

"What?"

"I'm the criminal mastermind, you're the sidekick," Drakken observed, confusion writ large on his face. "Since when do you give the orders?"

Shego rolled her eyes. "Fine," she sighed, then said sarcastically, "Doc, maybe it would be a good idea to tie up Kimmie so she can't foil your latest brilliant scheme."

"An excellent suggestion," Drakken said with a nod as he gathered up some rope. "I see being in the presence of my super genius is having a positive impression on your ability to assess situations and seize opportunities."

Shego and Kim exchanged a look of disbelief.

"Full of himself much?" Kim asked.

"Talk about it," Shego agreed.

"How do you put up with him?" the teen asked.

"I ask myself that every day," the henchwoman sighed.

"Shego! You wound with me with your words!" Drakken exclaimed.

"Better my words than my hand," she snapped as she held up a fist sheathed in a green penumbra of glow-power.

"Right," he whimpered as he began to tie up Kim.

II.

"Zis is most disorienting, no?" Dementor, still upside down in the clutches of Drakken's mechanical claw, said to Ron. "Ze floor is de zeiling und ze down is ze up."

"Tell me about it, dude," agreed Ron. "I am so over the whole upside down thing," he added, having already tired of having his tie flop onto his face.

III.

"I'll have three BLTs, two wraps, a turkey sub, and a pickle salad," Hank said, reading from the lunch order.

"You got it, bud," the counterman said. "Be just a few minutes."

"That's fine," Hank said, taking a seat at the counter. Since being reassigned to the Hencho team, Hank, the most junior of the attorneys, had been relegated to photocopying and running out for lunch. It was a far cry from being the lead counsel on a high profile defense case, but it was a sure step to professional success, or so he kept telling himself.

He noticed that while the TV was turned to _Celebrity Pet Grooming_, nobody in the deli was actually watching the program.

"Excuse me, my good fellow," Hank said solicitously.

"Yeah?" the beefy gent replied.

"Do you think I could trouble you to change the channel to the _Middleton News Network_?"

"Yeah, sure," he said, putting down the pastrami and picking up the remote so he could switch to MNN.

"… Unlike anything I or anyone else covering the legal scene has ever seen," Tricia Labowski announced breathlessly. "The Assistant DA has been knocked unconscious, the counsel for the defense is being held captive by a supervillain and the defendant is attempting a rescue. And now the judge …"

Hank didn't hear the end of the report. He knew that while the safe path to some middling level of success was to be found back in the dodgy ledgers of Jack Hench's corporate empire, the more exciting, and far more lucrative, way to make his name was to strike out on his own and reclaim his role in the Kim Possible trial. Ignoring the calls of the surprised counterman, Hank bolted from the deli and waved down a cab.

IV.

Harry Mint, aged seventy-seven, was most proud of three things: his professional-caliber golf handicap, his prize-winning Pekinese 'Foo Foo', and, of particular relevance to the situation currently unfolding at the Tri-County Courthouse, his two tours of duty as a member of the Navy's elite Underwater Demolition Unit back in the late Fifties.

The judge, though now in his golden years, still subjected himself to the Unit's demanding training regimen, which made scaling and infiltrating a two-story mechanical walker – which was what he happened to be doing as he was none too happy with the tin-pot villain who seemed to think that possession of an oversized trash compactor on legs gave him the right to disrupt the proceedings in his courtroom – a cakewalk.

Gavel clenched in his teeth, Harry finished shimmying up the leg of the walker, made his way to the underbelly of the machine's cabin, and hoisted himself up and through the open hatch, emerging to find one very annoying villain who appeared to be having difficulty tying up a clearly vexed teen hero-turned-defendant while a very pale, very attractive woman was amusing herself by looking out another hatch from which she was presumably dangling the counsel to the defense, whom he'd seen hanging upside down and talking with the plaintiff while he'd made his ascent.

Having surveyed the scene, Harry was ready to spring into action. He grinned as he grabbed onto the edge of the console and vaulted himself over, his black judge's robes flowing dramatically and a feral look on his chiseled face. He landed with cat-like grace and startled Drakken, who was still having trouble with his knots. Before the blue-skinned villain could react, Judge Harry Mint, Commander, United States Navy, Retired, brought down his gavel and, with pride and satisfaction, declared "Justice is served!"

V.

"Dad, can we have your cell phone?" Jim asked urgently.

"Now, you know what your mother and I have said about piggybacking on cell phone carrier waves to take control of highly classified government communications satellites," James Possible answered.

"Um, no, we don't," Tim said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Really?" James replied, surprised, sure he'd addressed this subject but willing to admit he was confusing this with an admonition involving the conversion of vacuum cleaners into orbiting death rays.

"Yeah," Jim said with a growing smile. "We didn't know we could do that with a cell phone! Cool! Thanks for the idea!"

"Nicely done, dear," Ann sighed before she turned her stern gaze on her two boys. "Whatever it is you were going to do, the answer is 'No'."

"But we wanted to create an anti-gravity ray …" Tim protested.

"Why?" Ann demanded.

"To save Ron before he hits the ground!" Jim answered as he pointed to the tow-headed young man, whose belt appeared to be coming loose. Ann, having known Ron for more than a decade, recognized what that meant, quickly reached into her husband's pocket and grabbed his phone which she gave to her son.

"What else do you need?" she asked as Jim removed the back of the phone and began working.

"Do you have a laser scalpel?" Tim said.

"Here," she said as she withdrew one from her pocket book. In response to her husband's puzzled expression, she said, "You never know when you might need to perform emergency brain surgery."

"Thanks," Jim said as he and his brother began to do something that only Stephen Hawking, John Nash, or Philip Zaruda might understand. Moments later, the two boys grinned as Jim pointed their jury-rigged device at Ron.

"Gravity, you are going down!" Jim said as he depressed a button.

Nothing happened.

"Uh oh …" Tim said as Ron's belt slid out of the buckle.

VI.

"Back off, Pops," Shego snarled.

"I don't think so," Harry retorted as he removed his black robe and confidently assumed a martial arts stance that communicated to Shego – and Kim, who was watching with rapt fascination – that the elderly jurist knew what he was doing.

"One move and Kimmie's sidekick is a goner," Shego warned.

"Drop Stoppable, and I'll just have one more thing to add to your charge sheet," Harry replied.

"Ooo, I'm so worried," Shego replied dismissively. "Maybe you should charge me with disorderly conduct, too."

"I already have," Harry countered.

"Drop Ron," Kim warned, "and your charge sheet will be the least of your worries."

"You're not exactly in a position to threaten me, Princess." Shego sneered at the bound teen hero-turned-defendant.

"I am now," Kim shot back as she shrugged off her ropes, jumped to her feet, and joined Harry in assuming a position familiar to practitioners of Panda Kung Fu.

"What? How?" Shego asked.

Kim quirked an eyebrow, then hooked a thumb at Drakken. "To be honest, I was surprised you had him tie me up."

"Oy," Shego groaned. "What was I thinking?"

"That you'd really like to start wearing prison orange," Kim quipped. "Now give it up. You're through."

"Not as long as I have your buffoon."

"Do not call my boyfriend a buffoon!" Kim snapped.

"Whoa," a surprised Shego said. "You and the doofus are an item? When did this happen?"

"He is not a doofus," Kim replied angrily. "And the BF/GF thing is new. Now let Ron go!"

"No, do not let me go!" Ron, who had been listening to the entire exchange from outside the cab, cried as he envisioned falling, head first, to the courtroom floor below.

"Sorry, my bad," Kim called out sheepishly before she resumed glaring at Shego. "Bring Ron back in here right now!"

"Thanks, KP," Ron called out.

"Not going to happen, Kimmie," Shego said. "Your loser is my ticket out of here. Now, why don't you and Gramps vamoose before I—"

"Bad pants! Bad pants!" Shego, Kim, and Mint heard Ron cry out frantically as, unbeknownst to the trio, he lost his trousers.

Which, unfortunately for Ron, were what Shego had been grasping.

_To Be Concluded …_


	17. Chapter 17

Thanks to campy, whitem, Mr. Wizard, Katsumara, CajunBear73, daywalkr82, Josh84, Eddy13, LJ58, Comet Moon, XoXoGigglieGirl1, acosta perez jose ramiro, screaming phoenix, Classic Cowboy, greenzxr, JCS1966, Quathis, neithan, Joe Stoppinghem, and Danny-171984 for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Special thanks to campy for proofreading this chapter.

Leave a review and I'll send a reply.

KP © Disney; All original characters © the author

* * *

I.

Rufus grabbed the modified cell phone from Jim and with remarkable dexterity and speed reworked the wiring. Satisfied with his work, the naked mole rat returned the device to Tim who aimed it at Ron, pressed the button, and let loose a hearty "Hoosha!" as a shimmering blue beam emanated from the phone's camera lens, enveloping the tow-headed teen just before he hit the courtroom floor.

"Badical!" Ron exulted as he found himself hovering instead of experiencing severe pain. After a few moments of floating, he looked towards the Tweebs. "Okay, guys, you can put me down now."

Jim pressed some buttons, then gave the phone to Tim, who did likewise. He then gave the phone to Rufus, who passed it to James.

"While I may not have the Possible family gray matter or that of Rufus," Ron observed, "I'm thinking that the phone passing thing is not good."

"Sorry," Jim said with an abashed shrug.

"Now I know the passing thing is not good," Ron groaned.

"We can't deactivate the beam," Tim added.

"So you mean I'm stuck floating?" Ron asked.

Jim and Tim nodded.

"Aw man," Ron whined.

"Hey," Jim said. "Look at the bright side …"

"You won't wear out your shoes as fast!" Tim offered weakly.

II.

"You are so going to regret dropping Ron," Kim growled.

"What are you complaining about?" Shego gibed, not noticing the enraged expression on the teen's face. "I just did your rep a fa—OOOF!"

"You were saying?" Kim said icily, having just tackled her long-time foe whom she now had in a vise-like grip.

"Okay, I'm sorry I dropped the buffoon," Shego said grudgingly.

"And," Kim demanded.

"Maybe your boyfriend isn't a complete and total dork!" Shego offered.

"Not quite the apology I was looking for, but it'll do," Kim said.

"Great, you gonna let me up?"

Before Kim could reply, Drakken stirred. He was surprised by what he saw. "Since when does Kim Possible use GWA moves?"

"I'm full of surprises," she said, not feeling a need to add that while she still thought the GWA was ferociously fake, she wasn't above trying something new in the fight against evil.

"Well, so am I," Drakken said as he whisked out something that looked like a prop from Captain Constellation. "Behold, the DNA Destabilizer! With this, I will … hey!"

"Spankin' move, Your Honor!" Kim said as Harry Mint launched into a flying kick with which he knocked the weapon from Drakken's hand. In mid-flight, the jurist grabbed the gun, did a tuck and roll, and landed on his feet.

"Thanks," Harry said, nodding as he pocketed the Destabilizer.

"Hey, you can't take that! That's mine!" Drakken protested.

"Not anymore, Blue Boy," Harry said. "This is evidence."

"But, but …" Drakken sputtered.

"If I were you, I'd find a lawyer," the judge advised. "Your lady friend, too."

"Lady friend?" a confused Drakken parroted in reply. "Shego? Is there, uh, something, I, uh, should know?"

"I am NOT his lady friend," Shego snarled.

"Yeah, sure you're not," Harry said. "That's what they all say."

"Why, you …"

Ignoring Shego's protests, Harry leaned out of the hatch and called for help.

III.

"KP!" Ron called out as Kim and Harry clambered down one of the walker's legs, followed by Drakken and Shego who were now under guard and in custody.

"Ron!" Kim replied with relief. Then, noticing her best friend's situation, she asked, rolling her eyes, "Do I even want to know?"

"It's all cool, K—OUCH!" Ron cried out as the beam flickered out and he dropped to the courtroom floor.

"Hicka bicka boo!" Jim exclaimed.

"Hoosha!" Tim replied as he gave his brother a high five.

"Nice work, boys," James said approvingly.

"Thanks, Dad," Jim said. "Once we realized we needed to reverse the polarization of the gravometric field …"

"We knew we were golden. Now we can—"

"I have no idea know what you just said," Harry interjected, "but don't try anything else in my courtroom. I've had enough whacked science for one day. Got it?"

Jim and Tim, sensing the judge meant business, gulped. "Yes, sir," they replied in unison.

"Good," he said.

"Good! I see the trial has yet to resume," Hank said as he rushed into the courtroom.

"Uh, Dude, what are you doing here?" Ron asked.

"The call of justice must always be heeded," Hank said grandly.

"Too many coffee runs and photocopying?" Kim asked archly.

"Well, er, um …" Hank replied. "Yeah."

"Well, thanks for showing up, but I don't think she needs you," Harry said.

"What do you mean?" Hank asked.

"I'm throwing out this case," Harry replied.

"No way!" Kim said.

"Way," Mint said. "You belong on the streets fighting villains, not in jail, cooling your heels."

"Badical!" Ron enthused.

"Zis is an OUTRAGE!" bellowed Dementor, who was still suspended above the courtroom floor. "I VANT MY DAY IN ZE COURT!"

"Can it, buster, or I'll have you charged with contempt of court," Harry snapped.

"Well, this is all well and fine for Miss Possible," a frowning Hank said, throwing up his hands. "But now what am I going to do? I gave up my job at the firm so I could be part of this trial."

"Drakken and Shego need a good lawyer," Kim said helpfully.

"Thanks for the tip," Hank said as he rushed out in search of his potential new clients.

"Helping out the bad guys, KP?" Ron observed.

"I'm a hero, it's what I do," she said conversationally.

"As far as I'm concerned, you're still a vigilante," Reuben sneered as he joined the group. "This is a travesty."

"Reuben, Reuben, Reuben," Ron said, wrapping his arm around his cousin. "While I'm not sure what a travesty is, the Ronster is willing to bet the only travesty here is your political ambitions."

"Watch it, Cousin," Reuben hissed.

"Or what?" Ron said, heedless of his relative's menacing tone. "You didn't even charge the right person!"

"What are you talking about?" Reuben said.

"Ron," Kim warned. "So not the time."

Ignoring her, he ploughed on with supreme confidence. "KP may have been present when Dementor's transporter-thingie was pinched, but she didn't actually take it."

"Oh? Then who did?" Reuben asked, sensing he might be able to extract a measure of satisfaction from what appeared to be a lost cause.

"I did!" Ron announced triumphantly, eliciting a forehead slap by Kim and a most satisfied grin from his cousin.

IV.

"Wow, KP, you're beautiful," Ron gushed.

"Thanks," a blushing Kim replied.

"You are without doubt the prettiest girl here," he continued.

Kim smirked as she looked about the room.

"Admittedly, you're the only girl here," he added.

"Still, compliment accepted," she replied.

"Thanks," he said. "You sure you're down with this?"

"So down," she said. "It's Spring Fling, and there's no way I wasn't going to dance with my boyfriend."

"It sure was nice of them to let you in," Ron said as he rested his large hand on the small of Kim's back.

"I guess I'm still part of the family," she said as she rested her hand on Ron's orange prison jump suit, then rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm so glad the judge gave you that deal."

"Yeah, all told, two weeks in here isn't that bad," Ron said before he observed, "Okay, this is nice."

"So nice," she agreed.

"Though it does tank that I had to give up my law degree and Barkin is crushing me with homework. I mean, do you know what kind of marinating I could have been doing here?"

Kim snorted. "You are so flawed."

"Hey, I am what I is," Ron said.

"Glad to hear it," Kim murmured.

"You know, this has to be the strangest first date ever," Ron said.

"Maybe," Kim said. "But it seems right for the guy whose motto is 'Never be normal' and the girl who says she can do anything."

The two teens danced around the visiting room to the sound of Ron's humming. The romantic, if odd, moment was disrupted by the blaring of sirens. It wasn't long before the door to the secure visiting area flew open.

"Sorry, kids, but visiting time's over," Thelma announced with regret.

"Man," Ron groaned.

"What's the sitch?" Kim asked as Thelma was joined by Earl.

"Attempted break out," Earl said. "Drakken and Shego."

"Looks like you're on, KP," Ron suggested.

"We could use your help," Thelma said.

"I don't know. It seems wrong doing the save the world thing without Ron by my side."

"Don't worry, Kimbo," he said reassuringly. "Even if I'm in stir, I've got your back."

"Excuse me?"

"After you bust Drakken and Shego, Tiny and the Ronman will make sure to give them one bon-diggety razzing."

"Sounds like a plan," she said with a chuckle. She looked to Thelma and Earl, who shared a knowing look before they turned their backs on the two teens. Then she brought her lips to those of her best friend.

"Man, I love this place," a goofily grinning Ron said after Kim had finished kissing him.

"Don't love it too much," Kim said with a wry smile. "I need my guy on the outside."

V.

"Your Honor!"

Harry Mint turned to see a short and vaguely familiar figure striding down the corridor towards him.

"Yes?"

"I'm Myron Meanor—"

Recognition immediately dawned on the judge.

"It's nice to meet you," Harry said as he shook hands with the media figure, "but I have a 2:00 tee time."

"Then I'll get to the point: I need a new panelist for my show and, after seeing how you handled the Possible trial, I think you'd be TV gold," Myron announced.

"You've got to be kidding me," Harry said disbelievingly.

"When ratings are involved, I don't kid," Myron said.

"You really think I'd be good?" Harry asked, intrigued by the possibility of dispensing legal advice on television.

"Think? I know," Myron answered with the confidence of a man who knew his business. "In fact, if this goes well, I could see getting you your own show. Just imagine: _Judge Mint Day_ …"

VI.

All things considered, Reuben was feeling good about life. The case against Kim Possible may have fallen apart, but he still had his dopey cousin put away, if only briefly, for stealing the Transportulator. It wasn't the political boost he'd sought – after all, nobody could even get Ron's name right – but he saw the percentage in what had happened. After all, nobody would question the crime-fighting credentials of a guy dedicated enough to put away his own relatives. The path may have become longer and rougher, but Reuben was still able to see a route to electoral glory.

Then a DA-shaped shadow fell across the road.

Reuben was surprised when his boss, Napoleon Nero, dropped into one of the visitor's chairs and put his feet on his desk.

"I just got off the phone with the mayor," said the DA, a large man with a shock of white hair and physique that made Steve Barkin look like a sissy.

"Oh?" Reuben replied, wondering what this had to do with him.

"He said it took a lot of guts for you to go after your own cousin …"

Reuben beamed.

"… He also said he thinks you're out of your mind."

"What?!"

"Trying to put away two kids who were just trying to do the right thing? He says it made you look like an opportunistic bully."

"But they both confessed!" Reuben said.

"To what?" Nero countered. "Taking some piece of dangerous technology from a known supervillain?"

"But it was his!" Reuben protested. "He had the paperwork and designs to prove it!"

"I'm sure that would have been a great comfort to whomever he zapped," the DA replied sarcastically. Then he steepled his fingers. "The Mayor wants to know what I'm going to do."

"Do? About what?"

"About you. He thinks you're a liability …"

Reuben gawped at his boss.

"… I think he's right. You're fired."

"Fired? You can't fire me! You okayed the prosecution!"

"I've always believed it appropriate to encourage my staff to show initiative. At the same time, I expect them to exercise discretion when making use of the authority entrusted to them by the public," the DA said grandly, sounding like a wise but disappointed servant of the people speaking to members of the press.

"I can't believe this," said Reuben, shaking his head in disbelief.

The DA he rose to his feet and headed to the door. Then he turned and flashed a predatory grin at his former assistant. "'Nero zeroes rogue ADA for charging hero'. Makes a pretty good headline for a guy running for re-election, doesn't it?"

VII.

"I don't think I've been this nervous since my first heist," Tiny said as she fidgeted and tapped her toe.

"I so don't think you should mention that to the Parole Board," Kim said wryly as she looked across the table at her former fellow inmate.

"Good point," Tiny said with a chuckle. "So, how're things with your man?"

"Spankin'," Kim answered. "Ron's weird, but he's a great BF."

"Glad to hear it," Tiny said. "I can see why you like him. It was fun getting to know him when he was in here, even if he is a Steel Toe fan."

Kim snorted. "If only I could shake him of his fascination with pro-wrestling and that stupid claw machine at the mall …"

"Claw machine?"

Kim rolled her eyes. "Ron's determined to win me a prize. He spent three hours trying on Friday."

"At least the boy's got focus."

"I guess so," Kim said. "On the plus side, he can be incredibly romantic."

"Oh?"

"We were on a mission the other day and some henchmen had me cornered. Ron was so not down with that," Kim said dreamily. "He was awesome."

Tiny snorted. "You've got it bad."

Kim laughed. "Thanks for helping me realize it. If it weren't for you …"

"It would have been something else," Tiny said. "I'm just glad you two figured out how you felt about each other."

Kim chuckled. "You and Josh."

"The guy you thought you were crushing on?"

"Mmm hmmm," Kim said. "Talk about being the last one to know what was going on!"

"It happens," Tiny said. "After all, I didn't realize I was ready to go straight."

"Once a hero, always a hero," Kim observed.

"Tell that to Shego," Tiny retorted.

"Point taken," Kim said. "Still, you know what I mean."

"I guess so," Tiny acknowledged. "Still, I needed a reminder of what was important to me."

The door opened and Selma appeared. "Hi, Kim. Time to go, Tiny. The Board is ready to see you."

"Well, here goes," the older woman said as she rose to her feet.

"You'll be great," Kim said with confidence as she also got up. "Ron and I will be waiting for you at the front gate when the hearing's over."

Tiny chuckled. "Thanks for believing in me – and for being here for me. It means a lot."

"No big," Kim said brightly to her friend. "After all, you had my back when I was on the inside. Now I get to have yours."

_The End._


End file.
